Mmmmm...cheerios...

Will have to go grocery shopping for food first thing Monday morning to stock the new kitchen. I'm moving tomorrow!!!

Kari: "tangina lilipat na ko bukas. nauutot ako sa excitement."
Niki: "hahahaha! Sama ako!"

Good thing I don't own a lot of stuff and will simply have to worry about my clothes. Tita Chon has generously donated the mattress I'm currently sleeping on so that's one thing I can cross off my list of stuff to buy.

In typical Kari fashion, I lost my metrocard (yet again) this morning on my way to work. Good thing it's expiring tomorrow anyway so I didn't lose much. The bad thing was that I realized I didn't have it on me when I was already on the bus. I was searching through my bag and all my pockets trying to figure out where it was. When I realized I had lost it, I started to rummage through my purse for quarters to pay for the bus fare when a kind man handed me his metrocard to use. I graciously thanked him for the free ride. Good samaritans are all around!

I'm shamefully addicted to Facebook now. I attribute my always running late for repeatedly refreshing my browser to see new status updates and comments. Kari is a big dork.

Did I mention I scored good, cheap bed linens the other day? On my way home from chanting at the center during my one hour break, I passed by a store on 14th st that was closing out and selling all their stuff for half off. I got decent egyptian cotton sheets, mattress pad, curtain, towel for a very good deal. Score!

I have to do my last batch of laundry here before moving day. I won't have time to do laundry anymore until next week since I'll be busy sorting out my shizzle in the new place. Andy says the laundromat is just around the corner from the building so at least I won't have to carry stuff too far unlike when I used to be in SF and had to walk 7 blocks for laundry. Ugh.

Ok, bed time.

By the way, until we get our own internet connection set up in the new place, I will be incommunicado (unless I can steal free wifi from the neighbors).

I'm packing for the nth time in the last several months. This will hopefully be my last for a very long time. I keep thinking about Omar and how I haven't been able to make time for him since I started work. I feel really horrible everytime he asks me to play a game of crazy eights or on his Xbox and I respond with a weary "Not now, Omee..." I'm moving out on Sunday and I don't have enough time to make up for lost time. I planned on taking them out to dinner last Sunday but moving day took much much longer than I had anticipated. I feel like a mom who can't make time for her son. This almost makes me want to stay here a bit longer just so I can have a chance to make up for all the "maybe later(s)" I kept giving him. I've packed up all my stuff and kept only the ones I will be needing until Sunday. With my work schedule and moving, will I even be able to come visit them on my only day off? I will need to make a conscious effort to try. I do owe this family a LOT. They took me in without question and made me as comfortable as possible. I haven't even given Tita Chon her christmas present (I know! how horrible!). I wanted to give her framed photos of Omar from the ones I took the last few months but I don't have the time to sit and process photos, let alone go to a photo lab to have them printed. Ugh! This is such a mess... I will be chanting for social balance for the next few weeks. All I've had time for is work and looking for apartments then the moving happened. I need to balance my time. I don't even have time for my photos anymore. Focus, Kari, focus!

Hopefully on February 8, I will have a productive day in terms of my pursuing photography. I have been asked to volunteer my services to cover an event for Quaad (Queens Academy of Arts and Dance). They will be holding an event for Breast Cancer Awareness through a dance concert and health fair. Mica and Leo will be performing and I will be documenting the day's event. Leo asked me to do it just from looking at my photos on Facebook and Pbase. I hope my event coverage skills do not disappoint. This will be the first event I will cover and I'm both nervous and excited. Pursuing my photography as a career is one of my goals for 2009. This may be a step to building a better portfolio and client base.

Speaking of goals, I have had my SGI 2009 determination card since receiving my gohonzon but I have yet to fill it up. I haven't made the time to sit and ponder what I want out of this year yet. I will have to write on it real soon so I know exactly what to chant for. I remember hearing something from one of the meetings that went like, "Chanting without a goal is like shooting an arrow without a target." I have been so swept by the series of events that's transpired in the last few weeks that I have forgotten to remind myself why I'm doing all of this. I cannot allow myself to revert back to a purposeless existence, always going with the flow of things, waiting for things to happen to me. I have to make them happen for myself. Sensei says that "Those who wake up each morning with work to accomplish and a mission to fulfill are the happiest people of all."

I've been using my one hour breaks to go to the center and chant for 30 minutes. So far, it hasn't failed from leaving me feeling better, and ready for the rest of my work day. I've always had trouble answering with more than a smile when asked what the practice has done for me. It's quite difficult for me to describe it at the moment. I don't know if simply saying "I'm much happier" will suffice. It's a different kind of happiness. One that involves a sense of contentment and pride in your own life. Basta! Masaya ako. Yung pakiramdam na kahit anong problema at sakit ng ulo na dadating sa buhay mo, alam mong kayang-kaya mong labanan. I don't overstress about most of the stuff that I used to worry about. Life is good. And even if sh!t happens, it's usually through the climb that we find a sense of achievement. We can conquer all. WIN AGAIN TODAY!

Taken by Jammi on my last day in Manila.
Packing clothes in my old room and (I think)
talking to Fort Girls on the phone as they said goodbye.

You write beautifully and your photos ROCK. I never like candid photos of myself but I haven't seen anything you took of me that I didn't like.

Everyone, you have got to CLICK THIS.

Please come to New York. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. We can still food trip here. There are a sh!tload of places I want to share with you already. Smoking won't be a problem, I've been wasting dollars on expensive packs already. Damn New York cigarette prices.

Please do come. I know it won't be soon but I will never forgive you if you never set foot in NY while I'm here. I think I miss you more than I will ever admit.

My Calvin Klein down jacket was waiting for me when I got home today!

40% off at Nordstrom.com
A ShopItToMe find

I'm such a dork because I'm wearing it as I type this. It's sooooo comfy I want to sleep in it!

I believe I've mentioned Eisa in a previous post. I said something about her being a painter and a fellow SGI member. But did I say that she's also a pole dancer? She needed a video of herself spinning on a pole and since she didn't have her own pole at home, she decided to use the center poles in the subway cars. Hahaha! We had to do this during the wee hours (4am baby!) to make sure there wouldn't be a whole lot of people oggling at her while she did her business. We were both already drunk since we decided to get drinks after work. She couldn't do the flips and inverted stunts because of the train car's low ceilings and she couldn't flail her legs around as much or she would hit the surrounding seats but she did alright, despite being drunk.

I pieced together below the parts that looked alright. Eisa, the full clip of the one you need can be found by clicking on this link.


I tried my very best to keep the Flip steady while the train moved, I can only imagine how dizzy she must have felt doing all those drunken turns in a moving train. I slept over her place that morning, playing third wheel to her and Tom on the bed (hehe). Good thing they're both very slim people so no one fell off the mattress.

Yey for Eisa! I want to see you do the real tricks with a real pole! Turuan mo ako mezzz!!!

*written last night but posted today*

I can't elaborate on today much. I have less than 5-6 hours before I have to be up AGAIN. Benny, Andy and I spent FOUR morbid hours driving from Brooklyn to Queens because none of us knew our way around. Benny is formerly from Montreal, Andy is from Chicago at ako galing bundok. We depended on Benny's iPhone's GPS but it the battery was almost dead and the GPS kept f*cking with us. Couple that with New York's horrible highway and street layouts that will get any tourist lost for sure. The highways and streets are nothing like California. I never got lost while driving there, it was so easy to find my way around with just a map. We circled the area about 5 times before we finally got the UHaul back to the warehouse. UGH. Then after dropping Andy home, Benny and I got PULLED OVER BY A COP for having busted headlights. We were using the fog lights anyway but they wanted to check. When he asked for license and registration, Benny realized that he DIDN'T HAVE HIS LICENSE. The whole time were driving around, wala pala syang license. We apologized and explained that we were lost and had just moved hence all the chaos and he just laughed, gave us directions and sent us on our way. My heart was on my throat and I wanted to cry. We got home at 2:30am and I passed out even before I could publish this post.

We did move quite a bit of stuff into the new apartment today though. Carrying the couch, cabinets, shelves, beds, mattresses, chairs and a sh!tload of boxes up to the 3rd floor was a bitch though. Specially having to maneuver it through a small narrow staircase (remember that Friends episode with Ross, Chandler and Rachel carrying a couch up a stairwell?) I measured my room and found it to be slightly roomier than what I was expecting it to be.


*written today*
So this morning contained another series of unfortunate events but I don't want to elaborate much. Benny ended up staying here then we had to be up in the morning to go back and settle the uhaul late charges. Basta! Magulong umaga nanaman. I'm just glad it's over. I will try to move the rest of my stuff little by little before saturday or may just borrow tita Chon's car again and haul everything in one go on Feb. 1. I do plan on sleeping at the new place on Saturday night after work if I'm able to borrow a futon or air mattress by then.

I have so many stories to tell but I can't seem to remember any of them right now. I have been too exhausted to write at the end of each day that I no longer can recall most of the stuff I want to share with you all. They're nothing major, just funny little things that's happened in the last few weeks. Hopefully when I've settled in my new home, I'll be more composed.

Sorry.

Been too tired to post anything decent lately. There have been a lot of days where I choose not to write rather than waste my reader's time with reading stupid crap. But I wanted to put something up today to celebrate this day. I have gone past the point of no return. It is official. I cannot elaborate much of what I'm refferring to so I apologize if I'm being vague. This post might just be for me. I feel like today is the real start of my new life here. And on and and on I go...Morning gongyo will be special today.

I have been delinquent in answering some of your emails and I apologize. I do read them when I get the time to sneak into my inbox but I never have the luxury to sit and think of what to respond. Just know that I read them and thank you.

I have a video to show you from last night. Might have to do it tomorrow when the dust settles. I have to wake up early, pack my shit into boxes and start moving them to Brooklyn. How I'm going to do this, I will still have to figure out. I have to wake up to start my day in about 4 hours. It's sleeping time.

Mica finally uploaded the video on Facebook. But I don't know how she posted it because I can't seem to embed it here. I re-posted the video on my profile but I don't think non-facebookers will be able to see it. When I finally have the video file, I will repost it here for the benefit of everyone. I am bound to take photos once I've moved in so I can give y'all a proper visual. Pardon my very annoying voice in the video. I have GOT to stop talking like that. I don't even notice it anymore. The whole time I was watching it, I was thinking "Oh god shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!"

Before I begin, this one made me laugh so much. I love how Jammi writes and always enjoy reading what she says about me.

Been too preoccupied to post. A few things have happened and I will quickly enumerate to update y'all.

I am a soon to be official Brooklynite! YES! We found an apartment and got approved! I just paid first month's rent + security this morning and will be hauling my clothes and stuff on Sunday. We officially move on February 1!

I did go to Beacon's Closet that day I blogged from my iPod touch. I bought two jackets and tall brown leather boots all for less than the one pair of boots I was eyeing from Steve madden. SCORE!

I had a mandatory hour and a half break today from work and I spent it chanting for an hour at the center. I've never wanted to pray the rosary with my mom before and never understood how she could do it every night. The feeling of actually wanting to go and chant was new to me but I really wanted to do it. Also, chanting along with other people gives me more pleasure than doing it alone at home, despite my very handsome butsudan. Hehe.

I've been on IKEA.com and excel laying out the floor plan of my room and fixing a budget for the furniture I'm planning on getting. Having VERY limited space has forced me to get creative and also saves me a lot of money as opposed to having to furnish a larger space. I've layed out and measured the furniure I plan on getting (went to IKEA last Sunday with tita Chon and family) and made a virtual room in excel to really see how much space I will have left to move around i once I put all my junk in. I've had to sacrifice items like design preference and color just so I will have enough inches of space left to walk around in and also try to keep my spending to a minimum since I just blew quite a bit of money for rent + security.

The hot man came for lunch today and I was relieved I was hosting so I had the opportunity to not dress up like a server and wear something else aside from black. I sat him and his friend at a table close to where I'd be and made sure he sat facing my direction. Hahahaha! Hindi naman ako umaasa, gusto ko lang syang tingnan talaga. Hot men like that will never date waitresses anyway.

I attended my first district meeting for SGI last Sunday. I was an hour late since I came all the way from Ikea in Long Island. I was upset that I missed evening gongyo since I really, really wanted to do it with people but I was given a small opportunity to share my experience since joining the practice. I was very surprised at how comfortable I was talking to a group of about 30 (??) people. I'm never at ease at on the spot speeches like that and I must have been blabbering like an idiot but the vibe was just so warm and friendly it was hard not to enjoy talking to these strangers. It was also then that Andy announced that the real estate manager called him an hour before the meeting to tell him that our application for the apartment got approved. Mica, Benny (who was a guest that night) and I were screaming like crazy and high-fiving each other while the others laughed at our ridiculous reaction. We got drinks to celebrate after before I headed back to Queens.

I was an hour early for work today since I had to deposit the rent money in the bank this morning. I finally had the opportunity to taste the infamous NY bagel. I had a toasted onion bagel with lowfat sundried tomato cream cheese and it was so good I wanted to cry. I can't believe I waited this long to have one. I may just have one everyday before work now.

The cold is getting harsher. Stand 10 minutes outside without a decent pair of gloves and your fingers will swell and feel like they will burst or crack. I love the headphones I bought from Skull Candy. Because of its furry lining, they double as ear muffs as well and keep my ears toasty.

We're planning a housewarming party for the new apartment and they're inviting a sh!tload of people, most of which I will probably not know. I wish you all could come!

Okay, I'm heading back to furniture research now and this post has gone beyond the "Quick One" that the title so implied.

Dinner at Andy's was good. Mica bought peruvian roast chicken which I devoured as always. We discussed house rules and such then we all chanted together for evening gongyo which felt great. Been on IKEA.com while browsing through the 2009 catalog in search of future items I may need for my future shoebox of a room.

Lazy to write so photos nalang...

Snow accumulated overnight and I woke up to more of it.The bus and train took forever and a half because it's Sunday today
so I missed the first apartment appointment.
So very lazy to even rotate the next two photos but here is the photo of my mini-room. How ironic that the biggest person in the apartment chose to get the smallest room. Ayoko talaga magbayad ng malaki ngayon. Hindi pa kaya ng budget ko.
It's so small that if I stand in the middle of the room and stretch out my arms,
my fingers can touch both sides of the walls.

Okay, I'm going to bed. I have laundry to do tomorrow and Tita Chon and the rest of us are going to IKEA plus I have that district discussion meeting for SGI at 7pm. Lots to do, so little time.

I'm sitting in a cafe in park slope blogging through my iPod touch because I can't wait till I get home tonight to share such exciting news! So I've been mad chanting for a cheap apartment and despite us not getting the last one I shared with you guys,I'm happy to report that we found another one and it is MOST DEFINITELY under all our budgets. My room is more like a small storage room/Taft ave dorm room than an actual room but I don't effing care! I am so stoked to have found something so soon after that last disappointment. This is now a 4 bedroom apartment which brings Andy back in the mix. It's two blocks from the train too which is always a plus. I am so excited I can't quite contain it. I'm typing on this stupid itouch keypad just so I can share the news isn't that enough to tell you how excited I am?! Since I'm already in the area I think I'll check out Beacon's Closet for some thrift store shopping. All for of us are having dinner tonight at Andy's to discuss rent and house rules to make sure we're all on the same page. I know I shouldn't jinx it with all this blogging about it but I can't help it!! AAAH!!!

Okay, the typing is getting real difficult specially with my fat thumbs. Just wanted to drop a line. I took photos and video using Mica's camera and I will share as soon as she sends the file to me. Weeeeee!!!!

The weather, I mean.

I have got to stop complaining how cold it is because I'm running out of adjectives to tell you Manila people how freaking freezing it is out here. I keep saying its cold out then days like today happen when it's 15F degrees out (that's 12 degrees below zero darlings). It's only going to get worse as we get into the middle of winter. I was running late for work and was unable to fully dry my hair before I went out. I was out in open air for a total of about 15 mins and when I got to the train, sat down and began pulling my hair back into a ponytail, I thought I had twigs in my hair only to realize that my hair had stiffened. Potek, nagyelo na ang buhok ko sa lamig tsong! Kari's winter lesson 1: wag lalabas na basa ang buhok.

The Hot Man came back to the restaurant today. I stood near his table and kept stealing glances like a doofus. He saw me, smiled and waved. I could've died. He's just sooooooooo hot. Uuuugh.

So I'm lending Rann my Flip for the weekend. Why? Because my uber talented friend (and one lucky bastard) is heading to Washinton DC in about two hours to play for the Aloha Ball for President Elect Barack Obama on Sunday. Yes! My Flip will be in the same room as the future leader of the free world. I am so jealous! Sabi ko kay Rann pag nakilala niya, ipahawak man lang nya sa presidente masaya na ako.

I'm checking out apartments with Mica tomorrow so I'm sleeping soon. Nyt!

Hindi ko pala nabanggit kahapon na hindi namin nakuha yung apartment. The landlord ended up choosing someone else so me, Mica and Benny are apartment hunting once again. I guess we're meant to get a better (and cheaper?) one. Craigslist is once again my morning and evening routine.

A US Airways plane headed to North Carolina took off from LaGuardia today and ended up landing in the Hudson River. Why? Because of them damn birds that's why. There were no fatalities, just a lot of very wet people who barely enjoyed an hour through their plane ride. It's weird seeing the tail end of a plane sticking out of the Hudson River on TV. It's like watching a movie (did anyone see Accidental Hero?) and knowing that I AM IN NEW YORK. Yeah boi. Manhattan is such a small island compared to the rest of America but in movies, great world catastrophies always happens in New York. Remember Cloverfield? Armaggedon? Men in Black? War of the Worlds? I am Legend? The Day After Tomorrow? and it goes on and on and on...

Lake Bell came back to the restaurant today to order takeout. I acted like a teenage idiot, running to the front register to greet her. I gave her free tea while she waited for her sandwich and was mouthing to Lily, "LILY!!! THAT'S THE GIRL I SHOWED YOU IN THE MAGAZINE!!!"

One customer got my nationality right today. She couldn't help herself and really asked me, "Where are you from originally?" When I told her I was Filipino, she looked at her date and went "See?! I TOLD you!" turns to me and goes "You sound just like my friend! She works at this restaurant in SOHO. You should go. You sound just like her!"

Right.

So I will actually go to SOHO just to hear another pinay talk like me? Sure.

It was only a few months ago that I realized that we do have an accent to the americans. I've always been under the impression that I spoke pretty decent english compared to how HappySlip mimics her mother. Well, according to Jammi, I speak like a palengke slut. (Jamila, I will never live that down)

Usually, when conversing with friends, I find it fairly easy to do so in english. But when talking to non-pinoy people, which forces me to completely express myself without a lick of tagalog, I lose all my ability to find the right words and sound like a child who speaks in fragments and sometimes, (the horror!) nababarok ako. Ewan, buti nalang exotic yung itsura ko, papasa yung kabarokan ko. To them, it may pass as an endearing foreign quality.

O sha. Wala nanamang ka-kwenta kwenta tong pinagsususulat ko.

Bibili nalang ako bukas.

Ang sarap ng Stella shet.

Today sucked at the restaurant. We had two tables over lunch and just a few more over dinner. We had a sh1tload of deliveries though. The weather has been pushing people to stay indoors rather than eat out. Stupid winter cold. Ugh.

I've rediscovered Shop It To Me. I signed up a few months back but never really browsed through any of the email updates I got. Now that I'm in search of a new coat, I've been looking at the old emails I've deleted. I want a new coat and tall black leather boots. I almost went on a splurge shopping spree during my break but I reminded myself that I will be paying for rent + security soon so I left before I saw anything else that might want.

I'll end this nonsensical post with a song that's been on a loop on my iPod. Been listening to it for the past few days and it makes me want to throw my hands in the air in the subway, start bobbing my head and just go bomp bomp bomp. Ignore the video, doesn't it make you want to dance?

Magtatagalog ako sa susunod na isusulat ko para lang mapraning ang isang taong nagbabasa pala nito pero hindi naman nakakaintindi ng tagalog. Kung magcocomment kayo, tagalugin mo na rin. JORDAN! sinabi ng wag mo ng basahin ito, wala ka rin namang maiintindihan. Matuto ka kasing magtagalog e.

I want to remember this feeling.

If and when it happens again, that I end up reverting back to the depressed state I once was in, I would like to remember this time. I feel so happy. I feel so alive. I feel so blessed and at peace. I can only remember two moments in my life that I felt like this and both times I was involved with someone. This time is a more special time in my life because I can say I was happy because of me. Just as I was telling my mom before with much jubilation, "Ang hirap-hirap ng buhay ma, pero ang saya-saya. Ang sarap ng naghihirap." Ang saya-saya talaga! I own every WIN, every triumph in my life. Being in-charge of my own happiness has left me so empowered. Every morning I wake up with one thought, WIN AGAIN TODAY.

I want you, yes YOU, to do the same in your life. No matter how much sh1t you have to go through today, tomorrow and the days to come, I'd like you to own your triumphs and embrace the struggles. You will sleep better at night, I promise you. You have the capacity to turn even the worst day into a better one tomorrow. WIN! WIN! WIN! Get up and gooooo!!!!

Ok, so enough motivational talk.

Today was slooooowwww...The only highlight of my day was the return of our very hot venezuelan regular. He's apparently been in Florida since we last saw him. He was chatting with Lily and Paul at the end of the restaurant but stopped in mid-sentence just to wave at me from the other end and said "Hello! How are you?" Shempre kinilig ang lola mo. Paul must have noticed the attention because he kept on sending me out to his table to serve him, obviously pimping me out so we get a fatter tip. Lily and I now refer to him as the hot man.

Paul: Who ordered the avocado salad?
Kari: The hot man did.

Lily: Who paid the check?
Kari: The hot man did.

Michael: Who's the hot man?
Kari: C'mon, look at the table and tell me you can't tell who the hot man is.

I'm working the whole day tomorrow. I hope he comes for lunch. Whee!

I feel like throwing up.

Omar woke me up at 9am demanding I follow through with my promise of letting him watch Hellboy 2 on my mac. I needed my mac so I loaded the movie on his computer, gave him some ramen and I was left to do laundry. It was early so I figured I could still catch Mica's show at 2:30. I had a bowl of oatmeal when I woke up and shared a ramen with Omee for lunch. Around noon, I had the washer on and was feeling a drowsy so I decided to take a nap. I woke up a little before 4pm! I guess I underestimated how tired I was and how much sleep I've not been having lately. So I missed Mica's show and my intentions of going to Brooklyn to pick up my pasalubong was out the window. I still had two batches of laundry to do so I continued. I was chatting with Jad for a few hours while I munched on tostitos, ube ice cream, and apple pie. For dinner, Tita Chon made monggo and daing na bangus with tomatoes and salted eggs. I've been eating chinese food for over a month and was glad to be having something else for a change so I devoured it like a maniac. I feel sick.

I chatted with mama on Skype today and she kept asking me to chant for her like it was some kind of show. I kept telling her that chanting was not meant for her entertainment but she wouldn't quit. She asked me a few questions about the practice and I tried answering to the best of my knowledge. I told her I could give her a book about it but she wasn't that interested. She only told me how nana was saying I should shut the door when I'm chanting so I wouldn't bother anyone. Haha! Also nana must have been snooping around my room when I was in Brooklyn and found my receipts because she mentioned to mama how much I spent for my altar. Hay nako nga naman.

Currently catching up on shows I've missed the past week. A few of them have returned after the holiday break. I don't have the time to see most of them now.

Recurring thought of the day: Did you ever feel like you were meant to be a part of someone's life? Like you're meant to help them in some way? There are those pivotal people in life Those who change who we are no matter how long or short of a time they've been in our lives or good or bad their contribution was. I can fondly recall some of these people. Some of them are still with me, while some of them have moved on. I wonder if I've ever been an influence in anyone's life or moved anyone in some way. Just the thought of it makes me want to be that light to others just as those people have done it for me.

Attended the WD/YWD Kick Off meeting yesterday at the culture center. It's my first meeting since joining SGI and everything that was shared yesterday had a whole new meaning for me. There are some things Linda Johnson said yesterday that I've also heard a few times from some SGI members that I'd like to share.

Buddhism reminds us that we're already perfect. Everything we need to be happy and be fulfilled in our lives is already in us. It's simply a matter of bringing out your inner buddha.

Happiness is found in the journey and in your struggle to reach your goal.

more photos

Had lunch with Miyuki, Tita, M, Leah, Jennifer and Eileen at Saigon Grill after the meeting. I wish I wasn't running late for work so I could have enjoyed the awesome food better. I scarfed down my meal and 15 minutes before my shift, grabbed a cab at Union Square and told him to step on it. I got to work in 10 minutes only to have Lily tell me to not rush next time and simply call her if I'm running late instead of spending for a cab. Pfft. Oh well.

Weather report said there was supposed to be a snow storm yesterday. It did snow a good part of the day but it ended just before night fall to be replaced by a light drizzle. This caused the thin layer of ice that accumulated on the streets to become wet and slippery. I had to take extra care skiing on the sidewalks going home. I witness no less than 5 people embarrassingly fall on their asses. We also had a little incident at the restaurant last night. A homeless man came in demanding that we call 911. He wanted to be taken to a hospital because it was too cold to sleep outside. He smelled like a really bad public bathroom and stank the place up. Lily and the owner gave him food and nicely asked him to leave but he refused. Richard had to get the cops to come pick him up before he finally left. That entire ordeal was sad but it was a place of business and it had to be done.

I'm supposed to watch Mica dance today at 2:30pm but I think I will stay in for once and spend time with my Omee boy. I've been feeling horrible every time he looks at me with his puppy eyes and says "You're going out again?" I haven't spent an off day at home for weeks. I need to do laundry anyway. Although I might make a quick trip to Brooklyn to get my pasalubong from Ana's house. Poy said my mom sent stuff for me from Manila and I want to see if she got me more than I asked her to get. I miss cheap manila items.

I can't chant :( Tito Moe is sleeping in the living room and I'm afraid to bother him with my weirdness tonight. I got home at 2:30am because we're supposed to close at 12:30am but there's this couple who could not take a hint! We were obviously closing up, sweeping the floors and putting the chairs up on the table. At 1am, the guy comes up to me and asks, "Excuse me, what time do you close?" Dahil sa trabaho ko ngayon, nagiba na ang tingin ko sa lahat ng waitstaff. I used to hate it when waiters start closing up when I'm still in the restaurant eating. But now I realize that those people have probably been there all day and just really, really want to go home. So please people, be considerate to your servers. When you see that they close at a certain hour, don't come in 30 minutes before closing and ask if they're open. They will smile and say "yes of course" and serve you but I promise you, they're all groaning inside because they've closed up the kitchen, cleaned the bathrooms and kept all their sh1t already. If you really need to eat, take it to go.

I'm currently reuniting with a bottle of Stella since I realized I still had 5 bottles in the fridge circa before-christmas. I feel bad for not being able to chant tonight and I'm hoping I wake up early enough to attend the noon one hour chanting at the center tomorrow before the WD (women's division) and YWD (young women's division) kick-off meeting. In as much as I know I'm losing money by working a lot of dinner-only shifts, I'm starting to like having half the day to do whatever I want. Of course lately I've been using it to catch extra zzz's but I think I will stick to the shortened hours for now.

Well, I'm off to bed. I keep thinking about the apartment and I'm only freaking myself out knowing I have a lot of stuff to move and will still have to shop for a mattress. Good luck to moi!

Mica and I have been apartment hunting for a while. When we walked into this place, we didn't have to say anything. We looked at each other and we definitely know this was it! It's newly renovated and brand new! New hardwood floors, paints, tiles, kitchen cabinets, everything! It's about two blocks from the subway station which means this beeyotch will never have to suffer 27 blocks when she misses the bus! YAHOO! Instead of Andy, we will have Mica's friend Benny, a fellow dancer, rom with us. They're currently in the process of filling up applications, etc. I should be able to move in by mid-January, which is pretty much next week. Grabe, madugong lipatan ito. Makakailang balik kaya ako para ilipat lahat ng gamit na naipon ko dito? Hindi kaya ng isa or dalawang pasahan ito, maygahd!

In the order that you see it, the rooms are: shared bathroom, Mica's room, the teeny room is mine, then the shared living area/studio, Benny's room, the kitchen. I'm excited for the shared common area since it can be doubled as a studio which we all can use. Both Mica and Benny are dancers and they'll have enough leg room to do whatever they wish and I can use the pristine walls to take portraits, specially the ones I plan to do of Mica and Eisa. EXCITED NA KO!!!! GAME NA ITO!!!! GO 2009!!!

I know my posts have been boring, un-visual and long. Patawad po!

Nakakalito kayo ah, if I don't post, you guys react, when I do write the long ass ones, you complain still. I'm trying to compensate my lack of visuals with words. I know the long SGI-related posts have been boring to most of you. I will try to cut it down. Ang saya saya kasi eh!

OK so visuals...kahit na late na sila.

5 out of the 11 cousins are in NY together

so we had a photo last Sunday
l-r: Cherish, Joey, James, Omee and moi

Semi-better photos of the restaurant. I didn't have my wide angle lens on so I couldn't take better angles.

the bar on the other side of the fishtank

Kenny again behind his sushi bar

and these are my two boys from work, Paul and Richard

both always on their internet phones checking the damn stock market

this was Kelly and Kyle when they were at the resto on NYE
and this was kelly, me, my silly hat and my white apron

I think those are the only photos I have for now.

In other great news, I finally found an apartment! I'm rooming with Mica and her gay friend Benny. We're waiting for the credit check to get approved and we can move in as soon as next week! I need to buy a mattress and bedding if I'm to sleep in my new room. I cannot wait!!! Finally living on my own (sort of). I am so stoked! I am dying to see what I can do with my little room. I plan on printing and framing my photos and putting them up on the hallway from the front door leading up to the living room. This is going to be so great! Yey 2009!

I was wondering since yesterday if people can feign wisdom. I've met a few "young" people who speak and think with much insight on their life and the world that I can't help but be in awe of them. I wonder how they could be so learned at such an age when the rest of their kin are busying themselves with useless activities. I look back when I was younger and despite people saying then how "mature" I was for my age, I can't help but feel that I still lacked so much. I wish I had their same knowledge and outlook on life. Then maybe I would have handled some things better in the past.

Then there are the opposite kind. Adults who act like children. We've all encountered them. I've had a chance of hearing about one just today and personally, I am in no mood to nurse anyone's sorry feelings right now. We are adults and should therefore take responsibility for our own lives rather than pass on our frustrations to others. I'd rather not expound on this. It will be a waste of words and thought.

I've just been in such a "GO! FIGHT! GO!" mood lately that I refuse to be affected by people who refuse to move. I feel like such a hypocrite for saying this seeing that I was one myself (and for a very long time too) just a little over a month ago but I can't be swayed from my determination to push forward. It took Louiie for me to realize that it takes a huge (and HARSH) wake up call to get people out of that rut. It's just that in this case, I am not in the position to hand out that slap in the face.

A few people have been asking me about my recent decision about being a Buddhist. I will be understating it when I say it's been really, really great. That, and being surrounded by a great group of people who continue to push each other forward has been helping me a lot. I feel like a force stream is flowing through me, washing away all the negativity and doubt that keep forming in my head. Of course I still worry about a lot of things: money, job, status, family, history. But despite all that, I feel an air of calmness about me telling me to relax and that everything will work out. I've been shakabuku-ing people who ask me about the practice and I read in the lectures (on the 'Expedient Means' and 'Life Span' chapters of the Lotus Sutra) about kosen-rufu and how Shakyamuni shared his knowledge after awakening from his long meditation without being asked or told to do so. Buddhism was born out of the need to cure people's unhappiness. A lot of the buddhism that's generally known today has diverted from that main purpose. SGI has taken that and applied it to the times so that people in the modern world who claim to seek buddhahood no longer have to shave their heads, go to the mountains and isolate themselves for it. There's just something about the practice and its effects on you state of mind that make you want to share it to people. Again, I am very sure I am boring a lot of you out right now but my point is this, I've just been so rejuvinated by the practice that it makes me want to share it to everyone. I just wished everyone had even just a sliver of the peaceful serenity that's been given to me through all this. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na kalmado ka sa buhay. The strength to embrace the suckiness of life and flip it over to make you better is something that most people are afraid to do. They see a problem and they cower, run or admit defeat. I have turned my own defeat into a positive (and absolutely fabulous) turn on life. At this point, I can consider myself one of the luckiest people alive even after the worst part of 2008. I am here and I am living, surviving and chasing the dreams that I have long shelved.

Nam myoho renge kyo!

I had work at 4pm today but they sent me home by 9pm since we had no customers. It was a good thing too since I was finally going back to Queens today since the camp group (known as tito ans, joey, james and nana) have left earlier in the day and I had two very heavy bags of clothes. I have about two weeks worth of laundry that needed to get done tonight since I won't have another off day until Sunday. When I took batch one out of the dryer, I saw the lipbalm that I thought I had lost again. It was an $8 body shop lipbalm that I loved. I lost the first one in the theatre when I saw Twilight. This second one melted in the dryer since I left it in my pants pocket. Batch 1 of laundry smelled like cocobutter. Nice.

I wish I had better kwento. I was supposed to go to the Apple store before work for my broken charger but I got, uhm, distracted and I ended up not going. I lugged my baggage home and did laundry and chanted to my gohonzon for the first time! I don't want to photograph my altar yet. I need to complete it before I show you. I have a few more items to buy to complete it.

Long day tomorrow. It's already very late but I again got, uhm, distracted and ended up staying later than intended.

Word of the day: MALANDI.

Gusto ko lang i-share yung masayang araw ko. Hahaha!

It's almost 5am and I got home just a while ago after a fun fun night hanging out with Eisa, Mica and Tom at Tom's apartment in Bushwick. Wine + leftover asian food + drunken conversation made for a fun fun night! Mica and I checked out a really great apartment in Brooklyn. We're hoping Andy agrees to share the 3 bedroom pad with us. I'm checking out another place on Thursday but Mica and I already loved the one we saw today! It's a newly renovated apartment so everything's new! It's close to the trains and close to stores too. If we decide to take it (and if the landlord chooses us) we move in on January 15! YES!

Eisa met up with us later then we had dinner at Republic in Union Square, did a bit of window shopping then headed to Tom's after we scored a couple of bottles of wine from Trader Joe's. Eisa and Tom have this really great painting of them up in their apartment (which Eisa painted btw). Mica and I were so enamored by it that we both asked Eisa to paint us too! We talked a lot about our art (Mica is a dancer, both Tom and Eisa are visual artists, and I'm, well...) and we brainstormed on possible future collaborations which got me really excited. I'm so excited to be rooming with Mica (and maybe Eisa too). I'm just so glad to find such a great group of people to hang out with. Yey for me!

I'd like to share with everyone an essay that Tom sent me. It's pretty long but I hope you all take the time to read it. It's very insightful.

"A Sense of Purpose"

"We realize our purpose in life by doing our very best where we are right at this moment, by thinking about what we can do to improve the lives of those right around us."

"Why was I born into this world?" is a question which everyone asks themselves at least once in their life. I believe that having a deep sense of purpose - knowing in the depths of one's being what one was born for, is a great source of happiness. A successful entrepreneur once remarked that even among the world's wealthiest people, those who lack a real sense of purpose in life often spend their final years in lonely solitude. Sometimes, having amassed great wealth and realized all their worldly ambitions, he found that they were left with a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness.

On the other hand, to be filled each day with a rewarding sense of exhilaration and purpose, a sense of tasks accomplished and deep fulfillment - people who feel this way are happy. Those who have this sense of satisfaction, even if they are extremely busy, are much happier than those who enjoy great ease and leisure but feel empty inside.

A clear sense of purpose gives birth to courage and wisdom. It enables you to look beyond the victory or defeat of the moment and see things in their true perspective, it can fill each instant of life with joy, even in the midst of trying circumstances. Whatever their occupation - mother, company employee, artist, fisherman or farmer, I believe that each person has their own path in life; a unique mission that only they can fulfill.

Discovering this purpose or mission is a lifelong task. It is not something that someone can tell you or that comes upon you all of a sudden. You, yourself, must find the reasons for living, the unique contribution that is yours and yours alone to make. Buddhism uses the example of flowering fruit trees - cherry, plum, pear, etc - to illustrate how each person has a unique mission in life. A cherry tree fulfils its purpose by blooming and bearing fruit as a cherry tree. It never tries to be anything other than itself. It never imitates the blossoms of other flowering trees or wastes time being jealous of them. Rather, it patiently bears the frosts and snows of winter, drawing energy from the earth itself, pushing its roots deeper into the soil. Then, with the arrival of spring, in a burst it unleashes all the life force that it had been storing up, sending forth countless blossoms.

Everyone has some kind of gift. Being talented does not mean just being a good musician, writer or athlete. There are many kinds of talent. You may be a great conversationalist, or make friends easily, or be able to put others at ease. Or you may have a gift for telling jokes, selling things or living economically. You may be punctual, patient, reliable, kind or optimistic. Or you may love taking on new challenges, be strongly committed to helping others, or have an ability to bring them joy. Without doubt, you possess your special jewel, your own unique talent.

In the same way, each of us has a mission that only we can fulfill. That mission will not be found somewhere far away, in doing something special or extraordinary. Even those people who seem to have led great lives have really only done what they felt they had to do in order to truly be themselves.

We realize our purpose in life by doing our very best where we are right at this moment, by thinking about what we can do to improve the lives of those right around us.

I often think of the life of Rosa Parks, an ordinary African American woman returning home after a hard day's work in the tailoring section of a department store by bus one evening in December 1955. Although the bus driver ordered her to give up her seat to a white passenger, as the discriminatory laws of the times required, she refused. Her single word, "No." - the courage of this one ordinary woman - changed history, and her ordinary day took on an eternal significance. Rosa Parks was arrested for her resistance and this set off an explosion of righteous anger among the African American population, largely because of the regard in which she was held - she was respected in her community as a cheerful, warm and intelligent woman. A boycott of the bus service was organized, and within a year segregated busing had been declared illegal throughout the United States.

When I first met Rosa Parks I was struck by her warm personality. She was humble and yet I could see that she was a person of unbending conviction. Now in her eighties, Rosa Parks remains an untiring champion of civil rights, working especially to share hope and a vision of the future with the young people she loves so dearly. Through her sense of conviction, this solitary individual became a leader who transformed the world. One moment of bravery opened the path of her mission in life.

You cannot discover and realize your purpose in life with half-hearted efforts. To follow the dream in your heart and fulfill your mission requires true courage. Not the courage of battlefield heroes, but a courage much closer to home. Most of us, before being defeated by a problem, are first defeated by ourselves. A weak-spirited or cowardly person, before hesitating at the wall of an obstacle, will shrink before his own shadow, frightened by his own imagination, and will be ultimately undone by the coward in his own heart.

Courageous people are first masters of their own heart. I firmly believe that courage is the key that opens the door to happiness.

To create value and contribute to the world, what do you need? You need to develop and polish your character until it shines. The ultimate strengths in life are not a clever tongue or wealth; nor fame or power. The real 'weapon' or 'tool' for living a successful life is what is left over when all empty artifice has been stripped away - the quality of your character as an individual. And small, steady efforts to develop yourself are what will lead you to the greatest happiness in the end.

You will not find your mission by standing still. The way to find it is by challenging yourself in something - I would almost say it does not matter what. Then by making consistent effort, the direction you should take will open up before you quite naturally, just as wide, new horizons open up before someone walking up a hill. Little by little you will come to understand your mission. That is why it is so important to have the courage to ask yourself what it is that you should really be doing now, at this very moment.

It is likewise important to set your sights high. The greater the tasks you choose to take on - one step at a time - the more rewarding and joyful your life will be. If you decide to dedicate your life to a truly noble objective, such as the work of creating a peaceful world for future generations, then you will be able to savor a truly deep sense of satisfaction and happiness.

A person with a strong sense of mission is a source of light. For such a person, there is no darkness in the world. And just as a single lighthouse can guide many ships through dangerous waters, a single person shining with the light of genuine happiness can help friends and family - their entire society - find the smooth open waters of peace and fulfillment.

-Daisaku Ikeda
President, SGI

Ok, matutulog na ko at may trabaho pa ako mamaya.

Me with Miyuki and her husband, Rahul

So last night was another fun night at Miyuki's. I was so sleepy on my way to her place that I napped a bit in the train. Rann, Mica and I got there pretty early. We snacked on cheese and crackers while we waited for the rest to arrive. Miyuki invited a lot more people last night compared to the Christmas dinner so it was a house full of drunken buddhists! Eisa was unable to attend due to work schedule so Mica was my buddy for the night. I drank a lot more than last time and I actually sang! Hahaha! Yes! Me, Kari, the lady who hates videoke, sang and DANCED. I've been doing a lot of un-kari like stuff lately actually. I think it's mostly because of the new environment and hanging out with an entirely different group of people. It has given me the freedom to be whoever I want to be without anyone commenting how different I've become or how unlike me I've been behaving. It's been so liberating actually. New York has given me such a fresh new start, that I not only have a new life, but I've been welcoming a new side of myself as well.


I was late for work today, the first since I started working. I was afraid I was going to get a lot of flack from Ben when I reached the restaurant that I chanted to myself while rushing to work. I needed the strength to take whatever it was that was coming to me. Then I got to work and find out that Ben wasn't there and that he wasn't going to be there for a while, leaving Lily, whom I love, in charge! I received even better news when Lily told me she'd like to train me to become a host. So, I'll be hosting once a week until she can see that I can handle things on my own. If successful, I won't be serving as much anymore. Yey! One month in and I get noticed agad! We had a pretty good night. Despite not having that many customers, the ones we had racked up their bills so it was like having a full house. Lily and the owner are now focusing their efforts on providing good service since the restaurant's been getting rave reviews online for our excellent service.

I'm off again tomorrow and I plan on having lunch with nana and the rest of the family before she heads to Manila for two months. I was planning on buying little trinkets to send to my family back home but it seems I won't have the time to shop anymore. I'm meeting Mica and Eisa after lunch to check out a few apartments in Brooklyn that we liked then maybe watch a movie. Baka demonyohin ko yung dalawa uminom pagkatapos. Tingnan natin... I need to brainstorm with Eisa about our shoot and Mica has expressed her interest in helping out as well. I've been feeling better about having these small group of people that I can hang out with now. It's been such a lonely couple of months here in New York with no one to laugh with that it's been refreshing having such a fun group of people around me.

Seems like 2009 is revving up to be a fun year!

The last day of the year was blessed with a flurry of snow and really windy weather. The few customers we had over lunch were especially generous with tips. We didn't have a full house as we hoped but we had enough people who ordered enough booze and food to constitute a good, fun night. Kelly brought Kyle and their friends over and Kelly got sincerely trashed, AGAIN! She was hilarious!!! A few seconds before the ball dropped in Times Square, everyone gathered around the bar area to see it on TV. I barely saw it happen because I was distracted with the amount of drinks that still had to get served. A few minutes after midnight, I sat with Kelly and friends and enjoyed a couple of glassed of champagne. I didn't have that much to drink but the alcohol, coupled with exhaustion from the 14.5 hour shift I was pulling was enough to get me good and buzzed. I slept over at Ana's apartment since she and Poy went to Manila for the holidays and Cherish was in the apartment by herself. I got to Brooklyn and Chen and I enjoyed a bottle of champagne and chatted and giggled till I passed out at around 6am.

By around 7:30am, Rann called to wake me up to go to the center. He and Oli had to call me about 4 times before I finally got out of the couch to shower and head out. I was late for morning gongyo but Rann handled all the paperwork I was supposed to file to receive my gohonzon. You can see a clip of the morning below. Please ignore my sunken eyes due to the fact that I had only two hours of sleep. I had a hearty porkchop meal with Eisa, Mica, Miyuki, Oli, Rann, Tita M and Tita E then Mica and Rann accompanied me back to Queens to enshrine my gohonzon in the fancy new butsudan I bought from the center after the meeting. I totally forgot to take a photo of it and I will share my new prize soon. I couldn't help but feel a rush of pride as Rann and Mica prepared my altar. I could hardly believe I had my own.


I am temporarily relocated to Brooklyn with Chen since Tita Chon's apartment is full. Tito Ans, Nana and my cousins Joey and James are over for New Year. On my way to Chen's I bought brie, foccacia, dried fruit and nuts, grapes and a bottle of white wine. I felt like celebrating with a nice snack and wine to end such a great start to my year. I told my mom today about my joining SGI and she took it much better than I thought she would. Of course she wasn't thrilled but she said as long as I'm happy, all is well.

I've restarted my hunt for an apartment and Mica, Eisa and I are planning of getting one together. I'll be checking out apartments again tomorrow before I head out to Jersey for dinner at Miyuki's.

The year of Youth and Victory has officially begun! Cheers to everyone!