My baby boy turned 8 years old today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMEE!!!I kept kissing him all night and pinching his belly.

Treated Ana, Poy, Tita Chon and family at Sri Pra Phai. Awesome awesome thai food. I ate so much I'm going to burst. Omee was so cute when we left the restaurant asking me if I was going home with them. Tita Chon also had a moment when she told us to not forget about them now that we all live in Brooklyn. Ana and Poy once stayed with Tita Chon before they eventually relocated to Brooklyn.

Got the day off today and went to Target to buy some stuff I needed (laundry detergent, hangers, etc.), shopped for a few groceries and did laundry before I headed out to Queens for dinner. I was so kalat today and kept running back and forth from the laundromat to the apartment because I kept forgetting stuff. I almost fell down the stairs running to the subway station in my haste to make it to dinner.

I got home to the smell of dinner cooking. Benny and Matt made dinner for them and Mica and Andy and we all sat down together. It felt wonderful having a home of my own that I can share with great people. Mica and I bought stuff online at Urban Outfitters that were on sale. Man, I spent so much today. I will need to tighten my belt the next few weeks since I will need to go on that Ikea shopping trip in two weeks.

I'm packing for the nth time in the last several months. This will hopefully be my last for a very long time. I keep thinking about Omar and how I haven't been able to make time for him since I started work. I feel really horrible everytime he asks me to play a game of crazy eights or on his Xbox and I respond with a weary "Not now, Omee..." I'm moving out on Sunday and I don't have enough time to make up for lost time. I planned on taking them out to dinner last Sunday but moving day took much much longer than I had anticipated. I feel like a mom who can't make time for her son. This almost makes me want to stay here a bit longer just so I can have a chance to make up for all the "maybe later(s)" I kept giving him. I've packed up all my stuff and kept only the ones I will be needing until Sunday. With my work schedule and moving, will I even be able to come visit them on my only day off? I will need to make a conscious effort to try. I do owe this family a LOT. They took me in without question and made me as comfortable as possible. I haven't even given Tita Chon her christmas present (I know! how horrible!). I wanted to give her framed photos of Omar from the ones I took the last few months but I don't have the time to sit and process photos, let alone go to a photo lab to have them printed. Ugh! This is such a mess... I will be chanting for social balance for the next few weeks. All I've had time for is work and looking for apartments then the moving happened. I need to balance my time. I don't even have time for my photos anymore. Focus, Kari, focus!

Hopefully on February 8, I will have a productive day in terms of my pursuing photography. I have been asked to volunteer my services to cover an event for Quaad (Queens Academy of Arts and Dance). They will be holding an event for Breast Cancer Awareness through a dance concert and health fair. Mica and Leo will be performing and I will be documenting the day's event. Leo asked me to do it just from looking at my photos on Facebook and Pbase. I hope my event coverage skills do not disappoint. This will be the first event I will cover and I'm both nervous and excited. Pursuing my photography as a career is one of my goals for 2009. This may be a step to building a better portfolio and client base.

Speaking of goals, I have had my SGI 2009 determination card since receiving my gohonzon but I have yet to fill it up. I haven't made the time to sit and ponder what I want out of this year yet. I will have to write on it real soon so I know exactly what to chant for. I remember hearing something from one of the meetings that went like, "Chanting without a goal is like shooting an arrow without a target." I have been so swept by the series of events that's transpired in the last few weeks that I have forgotten to remind myself why I'm doing all of this. I cannot allow myself to revert back to a purposeless existence, always going with the flow of things, waiting for things to happen to me. I have to make them happen for myself. Sensei says that "Those who wake up each morning with work to accomplish and a mission to fulfill are the happiest people of all."

I've been using my one hour breaks to go to the center and chant for 30 minutes. So far, it hasn't failed from leaving me feeling better, and ready for the rest of my work day. I've always had trouble answering with more than a smile when asked what the practice has done for me. It's quite difficult for me to describe it at the moment. I don't know if simply saying "I'm much happier" will suffice. It's a different kind of happiness. One that involves a sense of contentment and pride in your own life. Basta! Masaya ako. Yung pakiramdam na kahit anong problema at sakit ng ulo na dadating sa buhay mo, alam mong kayang-kaya mong labanan. I don't overstress about most of the stuff that I used to worry about. Life is good. And even if sh!t happens, it's usually through the climb that we find a sense of achievement. We can conquer all. WIN AGAIN TODAY!