When I've exhausted all my energy trying to keep everyone happy, would you take it against me, if for once, in your time of need, I were to look at you and say, "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

This was running through my head while walking home from work. I just spent most of the last 13 hours on my feet and I want to cry. We get no more breaks from work now and I stayed over two hours over my schedule helping Paul close and doing everything I have to do for tomorrow's shift. I stay to help them because they do it for me in return. But now a lot of things are happening at work, mostly caused by the new manager they've hired. The boys are not happy and even the chef is majorly pissed. I am mulling over the thought of looking for another job. I can't keep doing the amount of work I do despite me being attached to the rest of the staff like family. Camaraderie does not pay my rent or my bills so I may need to let that go, that is, if in this country's current economic crisis, I can even find a job to replace my current one. There's a small voice in my head that is telling me that I shouldn't complain. I should be thankful I even have a job and am able to live a pretty comfortable life. Yes, it's true. I am very lucky to have survived this long. But I can't keep having days when I go home forcing myself to smile when Mica welcomes me back when all I want to do is shut myself in my room, curl up in bed and succumb to uncontrollable sobs. There are nights when I drag my feet while walking home at night and I am tempted to wander and get lost. I may go home or I may not. Sometimes I wish I had the capacity to not care.

Pagod na pagod na pagod na ako. Matagal ko na rin hindi nararamdaman ito. Nagkaganito ba ako sa TPC? Hindi ko na maalala.

This is just me venting out. I'm sure, like all things, this will pass. I just wish time would hurry up to the place where I get to laugh about this already.

Isang taon na po ako nasa America.

Isang taon na po ang makalipas ang mga pangyayaring ito.


Ang bilis naman. Ang dami ng nangyari. Hindi ako makapaniwala na ganon katagal na ako andito. I've spent the morning re-reading old posts from a year ago. I've missed a lot and it surprises me that I've done a lot too.

One year ago, to the day, Jammi gave me a tarot reading. I asked her where I'll be one year from then and she said a lot of things the both scared me and gave me hope. She said I'll be well settled wherever I am and will be comfortable with life on my own. A year ago, I listened with doubt, wondering if a year was enough for me to deal with my issues. Turns out, the year was more than enough. I lost some things but I gained so much more. The past year has been the fullest year of my life...so far.

In two days, Monday exactly, I will celebrate one year of me being single again! HOOHAH! What's funny is, last night on our way home, I told Mica that today is my anniversary and when I got home, lo and behold, after a loooooong time, I get an email from non other than my ex-husband. Oh, it was nothing big or anything. He emailed to send me a file for joint dissolution of marriage and that was it. Only the timing made me laugh.

Mica and I were up until 4:30am watching funny youtube videos and I stayed another hour after that talking food with Louiie on the phone. I passed out immediately after that and slept in til noon today. I don't have work until 6pm and I'm contemplating baking cookies before work. I feel like giving my resto boys a little snack.

Mica and I were dying to take advantage of restaurant week, and apparently so was Mica's friend Nathan. So he made reservations for us in Rayuela in the Lower East Side. As with other participating restos, $35 gives you an appetizer, entree and dessert.

Appetizer + Entree was fantastic
Dessert was so-so, we expected more from something they called a "lava" cake.

Service was abysmal.

Our reservation was at 9:30pm. We were there early. we were seated at 10pm but only started getting served food by 11pm. We had two pitchers of sangria which is starting to be a habit for the 3 of us. The last time we had sangria was at the spanish tapas place in Chelsea and Mica and I got so drunk we took a cab all the way to Brooklyn.

I had the:
Albondigas de Cordero
Lamb Meat Balls served in a truffle-tetilla sauce and sprinkled with bacon and asparagus

Cochinillo a la Vaca Frita
Slow roasted pork rubbed with garlic, jalapeño and onions, paired with puree of boniato and smothered in salsa mole rojo

Lava Cake
Molten chocolate cake with dulce de leche and chocolate sauce. Served with vanilla ice cream

Mica and Nathan had:
Ensalada de Camarones
Cajun marinated grilled shrimp over mixed green salad with avocado and green peas. Served with pineapple ginger vinaigrette

Entrecot a la plancha
Panka pepper marinated grilled Rib Eye steak served over garlic malanga puree and a Cabrales cheese demi sauce

I tried their steak and I wished I ordered it myself despite my pork being amazing by itself.


Rayuela resto week menu can be found here and the photos from the rest of the night, including our drunken camwhoring on the way home can be seen here.

Next stop will hopefully be at Megu where they're serving kobe beef. Chea!

Another sunny Sunday in Brooklyn was spent roaming. This time we kept to the confines of our own city without finding the need to cross the bridge. We went to the Brooklyn Flea in Dumbo underneath the Brooklyn Bridge. Mica brought her camera and we didn't hesitate on using it despite looking like tourists. We then went to Carroll Gardens where we got lost for a bit before eventually ending up in Buttermilk Channel for dinner. We tried walking up the stretch of Court St. to Borough Hall but found it too far, gave up and took the bus. We went to Barnes and Noble and scored the new edition Cranium game then to Trader Joe's where we got more snacks to stuff ourselves with. Cranium is a minimum 4 player game but we managed to make it work last night with just the two of us, with hilarious results. I've just discovered that Mica is the worst sculptor and drawer in the planet. I had tears streaming down my face from all the laughing and for a short evening, all my worries about everything else in my life at the moment had dissolved.

Sitting on a sidewalk along Dumbo, sipping snapple iced tea and having a ciggie break.
Kari: (points across the street to an old building with a distressed brick wall)
"Kunan kita dun dali, hawak ka ng yosi tapos guluhin natin buhok mo a la Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona"

Mica: "Pwedeeee!!!"

More photos can be viewed here.

I am having a bad week.

A REALLY BAD week.

I feel like it's my fault too. All the non-chanting (I feel) has started to catch up with me. But despite the horrible-ness of my life now, I feel I have to mention that I saw Penn Badgley and Blake Lively right outside the restaurant waiting for a cab. As in they were like 3 yards away from me. I feel like a dork for even mentioning this but I fucking watch their show every week so I think it's appropriate for me to get starstruck. I was too dumbstruck to even move, I half wanted to run out and take a photo and half stood there with my mouth hanging open when they decided to cross 7th avenue and try their luck at a cab elsewhere. Blake was wearing a flower printed mini (as in really mini) skirt which proceeded to flap and fly up as she walked across the street revealing to a dumbstruck Paul (who was standing beside me this whole time) her perfectly smooth white ass in a (butt)cheeky boyshort underpant, TWICE. Penn was as Dann Humphrey as he can get in a typical v-neck white shirt and jeans with long-ish curly hair.

I should have chased after them.

Nararamdaman ko nang kulang ako sa chanting. Unti-unting gumugulo ang paligid ko. I've been a bad buddhist and have failed to chant regularly the past few weeks. I will need to get back to my regular habit and expel life's poison's away.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

I spent a lot today but I really don't care. I felt like I needed a good shopping spree so I headed to SoHo. I went to Topshop, Aldo, Steve Madden and Uniqlo and made off with 3 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of pants, and 5 tops. My wallet and atm account is significantly lighter but I scored such good stuff that it's worth it. When I got home, I set aside a bag of clothes I no longer use to sell to Beacon's Closet so I can get some of my money back. Hurray for thrift shops!

I've been in search of a good and affordable thai restaurant in the city since I can't very well keep travelling to Sripraphai in Queens just so I can have my thai fix. I found Pinto on yelp.com. It's gotten a lot of good reviews and is conveniently located up the street from work so after all the shopping and walking I headed there to scarf down some good thai food. Everytime I go to a new thai restaurant, I always order two things, chicken satay and green curry. These are two very basic thai dishes and I feel that if thai resto cannot do either of these things right, then they do not deserve a repeat visit from me. I won't even bother trying anything else. One thing I can say is, Pinto will definitely see me again...and again...and again. OMFG. The chicken satay is at par with Jatujak's in MOA and the thai green curry (I got shrimp) was spicy and sonuvabeetchitwasfuckinfantastic. I also had the papaya salad with citrus lime dressing that I scarfed down with gusto. I am SO taking Louiie and Angel here in August.

Mica arrived yesterday but slept in Queens with her family for the night. She came back to the apartment today bearing Ging's pasalubong for me. WHEEEEE!!! THANK YOU GRACEYLOU!!!

She got me three bags: (photos by Graceylou for FabManila)

I have the gold one infront.

Laptop Bag
I have this in black patent.

I was much excited by this one. I immediately placed a couple of peaches, Goldilocks mamon (mica's pasalubong) and will prepare a sammie and lemonade for my baon for work tomorrow. Yehey!

Photos from the past few weeks, captured through my phone. Somehow, my owning a camera phone has turned me into a lazy photographer. I don't bother bringing out my camera anymore, even for the food shots I used to take.

In no particular order:There was a fire alert beside the resto about two weeks ago. Two fire trucks came rushing to the apartment beside us. They used the fire hydrant on the corner and could not shut it off after they used it. It took them about 20 minutes to shut the water off during which gallons upon gallons of water flooded 7th avenue.

There were about 20 firemen standing around watching one man attempt to shut off the hydrant.

Kona Mocha in the comfort of my own home.

The morning after 4th of July I opened my curtains to find an ambulance and cops across the street below. There was a Police Line Do Not Cross tape around this particular space. I'm not quite sure what happened but based on the facts [1.) police line tapes indicate death or a crime 2.) ambulance means something happened to someone] I figured someone was found dead across the street. May have been a homeless man who slept and never woke up, or at least I'd like to think so.

Went to Ikea the Sunday after July 4th despite my morbid hangover and bought new sheets, a new plant and new wall art. It's my room's summer make-over.

One of my lunches during my day off. Pan-grilled chicken breast in rosemary and thyme with grilled veggies and mixed greens topped with crumbled herbed feta. I tried to replicate Jad's dressing (shallots + onions + salt/pepper + balsamic vinegarrette) but I prefer my usual balsamic vinegarette + honey combo.

I'm making nobody's mouth water here except myself. People who read this who like green mangoes with bagoong have better access to it in Manila. I dug through the bottom of the mango barrel in the corner fruit stand to find the hardest one I could find and scraped what's left of the bagoong in the fridge.

If you have been bothering to check here, I'm sorry for the non-updates. I've been meaning to write and my head is actually full of posts I would have written if I had the time to actually sit down and write them. My stay in front of my mac has been limited to selectively reading emails, referring to google maps and updating my Netflix queue. Even my Facebook account has been ignored, with status updates being changed through my phone. I will (hopefully) give a better rundown of the past week or so, beginning with my Trasformers movie date with Omee (photos from that day were taken through my phone and accidentally deleted so no visual aids for that).

I spent my first ever 4th of July crashing at Rann's. He, Oli and Erica prepared a feast which I so graciously devoured. Their apartment building has a great view of the city from the roof so we enjoyed picture time and the fireworks later that night. Photos from that day can be seen here.

Rann's feast.
I was told he slaved in the kitchen for hours that morning.Oli and Erica's Pie with home-made custard.

I will write more soon. Got lots to tell from a man being found dead in front of my apartment building (seriously) to Louiie and Angel coming to visit me soon.