I am greeting everyone

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I had big plans for my new year's eve post. I've been planning for it months ago. But since my hours are weird now, I haven't had time to make it. I am very sorry. I hope to have it up by next week at the very latest.

Though this may not be my first New Year's Eve away from immediate family, this will be the first NY Eve I will spend working. Yes, I will be serving drunken yuppies until we run out of alcohol. We have a dinner special and open bar tomorrow night and Kelly has called in for reservations and will be bringing in 6 people along with her. At least I'll have one other familiar face around when I welcome the new year. I'll be sleeping in Brooklyn after work so Cherish and I can head out to the SGI center by 9am. Walang tulugan toh pare! I told Cherish about it and she's very much interested in checking it out. It'll be nice to have a family member present when I receive my Gohonzon. I am also very excited about the party Miyuki and Rahul are throwing in their apartment (again!) on Friday to welcome 2009. I had so much fun the last time that I can't pass on it!

I've been getting a few congratulatory emails from some SGI members who've heard about my decision to hop on. Yey!

Eisa has accepted my request to collaborate on some photographs. I'm so excited! Eisa is a visual artist too and plans to use my photos for her paintings as well. I've been wanting to do this kind of shoot for a while but have not found a model who's "free" enough to do it. Score! Because of this shoot, I'm contemplating on buying my first studio strobe. I found one for $170 and I'm still deliberating whether or not it's worth buying it now. It's a good and affordable entry level strobe and it's gotten great reviews. Ang hirap lang bitawan ang pera kahit na kumikita na ako. Bakit mas madaling gumastos nung wala akong pinag-huhugutan? Ah ewan.

One of my favorite sitcoms of all time would have to be CBS's The Big Bang Theory. It's hilariously written and the cast's dynamic is absolutely brilliant. To those who have never seen it,

From CBS.com
"Leonard and Sheldon are brilliant physicists, the kind of "beautiful minds" that understand how the universe works. But none of that genius helps them interact with people, especially women. All this begins to change when a free-spirited beauty named Penny moves in next door. Sheldon, Leonard's roommate, is quite content spending his nights playing Klingon Boggle with their socially dysfunctional friends, fellow CalTech scientists Wolowitz and Koothrappali."

I just saw the Christmas episode before heading out to work and I was in tears laughing at the last few minutes of the episode.

A brief background on the clip:
Sheldon is self-obligated to go shopping for a Christmas present for Penny after finding out that she got them presents for Christmas. Since he has absolutely no clue what to give her, he then buys several gift baskets and plans on opening her gift first then give her the basket that's closest in value to the gift she gave him, returning the rest for a full refund. The video below is what follows...

Next to Friends, this is one show I can watch over and over and still fall over laughing.

In other news, Kelly, Kyle and Kyle's brother Jamal came to the restaurant today! They had sake and I fed them soy sushi and soy chicken! Hahaha! They said it was good but I'm not sure if they were feigning enthusiasm. haha! They might drop by again on New Year's Eve to drop off the thai tea Louiie sent for me.

Ok, before anything else, let me just say to the only lady who can literally fit in my shoes,

In case you didn't see my YM message, I'm giving you a thousand virtual hugs from New York! I miss you so much you have no idea! You are probably one of the first people I think of when I remember my one year blip back in Manila. Meeting you was worth it. Wheeee!!!

So anyway, today I was in a slight panic. Olivea and Rann were coming over to see my room and check where I planned to keep my Butsudan. My room was a bloody mess and I needed to fix it fast! I made a quick trip to the 99c store to score stuff to organize my bags, scarves, and hoped to get a cheap shoe rack to keep my unnecessary collection of footwear. I couldn't find anything worth spending money on so I had to fix everything up to make my room look worthy enough to house my scroll. I did my laundry to get rid of the unsightly pile that's been building up around the room. In between chores, I was browsing through the SGI website to see what questions I might have when they came. When Oli came in and asked to see my room, I was nervous when I showed her where I planned to keep my altar (by the window facing the back of the building), I was half-expecting her to say "Oh, NO! Not there! That's not at all the right place to keep it! That's not going to work!" Good thing they said it was alright. I didn't have any other place to keep it anyway. I already have very limited space in Omar's dining room-turned bedroom space. I also spoke to Tita Chon about my decision to start practicing and that they may hear me chanting in the mornings and evenings. She laughed and said it was a good thing I told her, otherwise she might have called 911 to say I've gone crazy.

Rann and Oli were patient in answering questions they must have heard a thousand times. There are still so many things I want to know and need to know. They've provided me with enough reading material to last me for a good long while. I've bought quite a few books these past several weeks, all of which I have not even started reading and will have to be set aside again.

The end of the year is coming. So much has happened and so much has changed. I feel like I'm on an express train to a speedy new beginning. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!

Btw, this is super delayed but I want to give a big shout out to Jun and Lissa for getting hitched last December 20. After 10 years of being together, they have made it official!

Lissa and Jun with the rest of my high school friends
who were in Manila for the wedding.
Annette, Rita, Rona and Tonet

This morning as I was getting dressed for work, I kept thinking about SGI. I don't know why but something in me could not wait for the next opportunity to visit the center. I've been thinking about it a lot and then it dawned on me, "What am I waiting for?" I already know I want it. I suppose the segurista in me just needed to be sure. So I made the decision this morning, on thursday, the first day of 2009, I will receive my Gohonzon. I called Rann and he will arrange whatever needs to be done in preparation for this momentus event. I'm both so excited and nervous I can't even put it into words. Rann and Olivea are coming over tomorrow to discuss everything with me. I will have to talk to Tita Chon about having a buddhist in the house. Hehe. Part of the practice is chanting during the mornings and evenings and I need to be sure she's okay with it. I guess I will have to look for that apartment after all. I can only imagine what Nana's going to say when she sees my altar in the room. She might call for an exorcism or something. Dito pa naman sya natutulog sa kwarto ko when they come visit. She's so going to hate me for this.

So yes! 2009 will be a whole new beginning for me! I feel so optimistic that this will be an awesome start! Let's goooooo!!!!!

Ever since I let go of my old headphones that was handed down to me by he-who-must-not-be-named, I've been wanting to score myself a replacement. I just bought one online tonight :) Merry Christmas Kari!
Walang kwentang kwento...

Ihing-ihi na ko pauwi kanina. Walking to the subway I realized na hindi ako nag-banyo buong shift ko. Tapos ang haba pa ng usapan namin ni Bea sa telepono kanina bago ako sumakay ng train. I had my iPod on and was rocking back and forth on the train and bus stop trying to pretend I was moving to the beat of the song. I couldn't wait and hailed the first cab that passed. Yun lang. Compared to last night, today was blaaahhh....

Kelan ang susunod na gimik?

Headed out to Jersey last night for Christmas dinner at Miyuki and Rahul's apartment. I was the newbie in this crazy group of SGI folks. They were all hilarious and all apparently very much into videoke. Eisa, Tom and I were so hungry on our way to the party that we silently sat in our corners while we scarfed down appetizers of fruits, veggies and dip, salami, and cheese. We had a wonderful gourmet dinner of steak and salmon c/o chefs Rann and Ryan. There was enough wine to loosen everyone up by the time Rahul plugged in the videoke night. There was never just one person singing the whole night. We made so much noise I was surprised the neighbors didn't complain. I had a small purse with me so I borrowed tita Chon's cybershot instead of bringing my DSLR. I'm such a doofus with p&s cams so I took home horrible photos. I wanted to piece together small clips from videos I took of last night but something about the video files in the cybershot keeps me from cutting up certain pieces. Besides, I don't think most of you will understand and appreciate the hilarity of the videos unless you were actually there. So, I give you some pics from last night instead.

Tita M and her wild hair

Me and Ryan

Kitchen Folks

Girls of karaoke

Rann and Oli

Tita Ella and Tita Maria

Me and Eisa

Everyone dancing while Rann belts out Livin La Vida Loca
Everyone belting out New York, New York

The rest of us that were left standing by around 2am left together. It was a looong trip from Jersey to Queens. Despite my recent decision to not look for apartments until I've saved up more money, it is on nights like last night that I wished I had a place that's closer. I planned on cabbing home when I got to my stop but, seeing that it's 3:30am, there was no cab in sight. I had no other choice but to walk the 27 blocks in my not-for-cold-weather-long-distance-walking flats. By the time I got to our building, I was a bit woozy from the cold and had the most difficult time fitting the keys in the locks and getting up the small flight of stairs.

Fight lang ng fight! Go lang ng go!

Finally got the snowman pictures from Tita Chon's camera. The snow has since, melted and we're currently enjoying a warm(er) 47 degree weather. It's sunny out and the sky is a clear blue. From my bedroom window, I can see there's a slight breeze blowing through the branches of the naked trees.

Omar scolding Steve about smoking

I have no photo to share, nor a creative video as I might usually have done. There are perks to being employed but I can no longer be as creative as I used to be in this blog. A few of you have noticed how my posts lack the usual photo/video attachment. I apologize. I do write as often as I can despite my work hours. Enough excuses....I just wanted to wish everyone

I didn't go to the park and Rockefeller Center as I originally planned. It was drizzling this morning and I didn't want to bring my camera out in that kind of weather. The restaurant was quiet. Richard turned out to be another chinese guy that Ben and Paul worked with in a previous restaurant so I'm back to being the only non-chinese speaking person in the resto. I had a table with three hilarious people who got really drunk. They were so nice and funny and asked me if I wanted to join them after my shift so they could buy me a drink. I had to decline since I assumed Tita Chon and family were waiting for me at home. When they left, they said I was wonderful and the best waitress ever and gave me a hug. Hahaha!

Tomorrow, I will have the left over dinner feast they had earlier tonight. They were sleeping by the time I got home. Then I'll be heading to Jersey for dinner with Rann and his friends from SGI. Christmas this year is melowed down. Hopefully New Year will be a bit more amped up.

Hindi ko na siya maramdaman. Siguro mashado lang ako maraming ginagawa para ma-absorb ko na pasko na talaga.

I don't have work till 4pm tomorrow and I'm contemplating whether or not to go to Central Park and take photos and pass by Wollman Rink and Rockefeller Center for the ginormous Christmas tree. I'm sure uptown is more festive and I'll feel a lot more Christmassy if I were to see all the decors around.

Today was MAD BUSY. As in it was the opposite of Saturday's pathetic turnout. The good and bad thing about tonight though, was that Brian got fired! Yes! In the middle of dinner rush, Lily and Ben decide to let him go. He grabs his stuff and leaves me with a full house! The good thing about that was, I get all the tips! Buwahahaha! Ang sama ko pero nangangailangan ng pera eh, so hayaan mo na. I can't count how many times I got asked where I was from today. It's starting to feel like the customers are playing a silent game trying to see if they can determine my nationality from my accent and features. Only one got Filipino right.

I saw the schedule for the next two weeks and it saddened me. Ben cut my hours!!! I know I should be happier with more time to sleep and more time for myself, but I need the hours! And the money! I work a lot of 4-11:30pm shifts over the next few days. Based on the schedule, a guy named Richard will take my original schedule. According to Ben, he's the dude who used to work at the restaurant and is now coming back. Demmit!

I got the chance to taste a lot of the stuff we serve today. Lily's friend came by to take photos of the restaurant and the dishes today for the website. The chef prepared a LOT of our dishes to be photographed. I saw his photos on his laptop and, not to sound too arrogant, they were CRAP. Hahaha! I could have done a waaaay better job. After the food was photographed, they laid them out for us to devour. There was soooo much food! The best surprise was, the chicken tasted just like chicken and it was good! Did I mention that all the meats in our dishes are made of soy? Well the shrimp was not awesome, the salmon did not taste like salmon, the sushi was just okay. I didn't get the chance to try any of the beef dishes but most of the chicken ones were good.

Today was warmer, unlike yesterday when it was ridiculously cold na naluluha na ko pag humahampas ang hangin sa mukha ko. Mararamdaman mo sa buto mo yung sakit at lamig dahil tagos sa balat tsong. Kakaiba pero masaya pa din. Game lang!

This will be a mixed rundown of yesterday and today.

I joined Rann and Eisa for the SGI Filipino meeting yesterday at the center. The meeting was okay and they were considerate enough to explain a little about Soka Gakkai for the benefit of the guests that arrived that day. There aren't a lot of filipinos who practice here in NY but they still manage to make time each month to meet, share and update each other. They seem like a fun group of people. Rann and I joined a few of them for lunch after then headed back to the center to attend a graduation ceremony for SGI's young women's division. The large auditorium was filled with women of all shapes and races. What I noticed right away was how everyone had a permanent smile plastered on their face. Everyone looked happy and they all spoke to each other like family. Watching them interact made me a little jealous. Everyone seemed so close and tight knit and I longed to be part of something similar, specially being in a place where I have no close friends. I looked at the faces around me and they all looked genuinely happy and at peace. I want that. More than money, career or independence. For 2009, I want peace of mind. I may struggle with my job, or bills but I want, even for a while, to have a period wherein I can relax and live my life in the now. I would like to stop worrying so much or thinking so much. I want to feel serenity within myself and have the ability to excude a gleaming sense of pride in whatever situation I find myself in. I spoke with Louiie today and she was quick to point out how different my vibe was. I no longer whined, complained or sulked on the phone. She said, that whatever this SGI thing was or whatever else that's been rubbing off on me, was doing me a lot of good and I should go on and get more of it. There's no other way to say it, I feel so ALIVE, like I've been sleeping for so long and I've just recently opened my eyes to my potential.

Cherish, my cousin who has been living in Istanbul for the past two years, has moved back to New York to live with her sister Ana for the next 6 months while she works to save up enough money to take her masters in Film in Manchester. I haven't seen her in a very long time so I went to Ana's place in Brooklyn where Chen and I decided to bake a red velvet cake for Christmas. I slept over at Ana's last night and Chen and I spent hours updating each other about our lives and our plans for the future. She said a lot of stuff last night that made me think about my own life and how up until recently, I've had the mentality of going along with the flow, waiting for fun things to happen to me instead me going out there to make things happen for me. There are a lot of things that still need to be defined in my own life but it helps to have that realization of being proactive rather than reactive. A lot of the things she said follow the sames lines of the stuff I've heard so far about Nichiren Buddhism so it feels more like everything around me is falling into place. I told her about SGI and she got so excited and wants to join the next meeting.

I woke up this morning and Chen, Ana and I had breakfast and chatted some more, mostly about our own family dynamic and how we relate that into our own lives. It's been a very philosophical and eye-opening two days. I left Brooklyn and didn't really feel like going back home and sitting in bed all day. I also wasn't in any condition to brave the bitter cold and walk around so I hung out at Rann's resto while I sat and people watched by the window. I may still be a bit confused but I can safely say that I am eons away from the mess that was me a month ago.

I got home, showered and Tita Chon and family, Ana, Chen, Poy and I went out for dinner. We went to this thai restaurant here in Queens that Cherish swears is the best thai restaurant in New York. I'm not going to drag this on but I will say that it is, indeed, the best thai restaurant I have been to, EVER. They have a WIDE array of appetizers, entrees, soups, salads and desserts all categorized in their menu. Each dish is labeled and photographed to make your mouth water. I am NOT kidding, it is the ABSOLUTE BEST. The name of the place is Sripraphai (it's hard to say it) and it's located in Woodside near the Filipino restaurants on Roosevelt Ave. If you google it, you will see that it has received very good reviews and is a high-rated resto. Kung andito kayo, kelangan niyong pumunta dito, walang biro. Sorry, wala ng sinabi ang Jatujak.

Since Ana and Poy are spending Christmas and New Year in Manila, we went back to the apartment and enjoyed the cake me and Chen made for dessert. We took some groups photos since we won't be seeing Ana and Poy until they get back from Manila in Jan.


I'm planning on buying A New Earth since Ana and Chen swears it's an awesome book. Books of this sort have NEVER been my kind of thing but I've been so open to a lot of things lately that it shouldn't hurt to check it out.

The rest of the photos from tonight can be seen here.

Our quiet street on an icy night

Today was morbidly slow. As in MORBID tsong. I think we only had 5 dine-in customers by 8pm. It was pathetic. At first I didn't want to believe that we were slow because everyone was doing last minute xmas shopping but during my break, I decided to take the subway to Union Square and found it to be overflowing with people! The holiday market was sardine packed with Christmas shoppers. The surrounding stores were also overflowing with people! I wanted to buy a winter hat but I couldnt find one in a color and fabric I wanted. I also wanted to buy a shirt from Forever 21 but the line at the register was ridiculous and I only had one hour for break.

By 8pm, Paul asked me if I wanted to go home early. He offered to stay till closing if I wanted to go ahead. I told him he could go instead and I was willing to stay since I was already given an off day yesterday and will be off again tomorrow. I couldn't stand the idea of missing the money I will lose by working less hours today after having lost hours yesterday. I need all the money I can save up now if I'm to ever find an apartment. Then Lily pointed out that today was a Saturday and therefore trains and busses will be less frequent than usual by the time I'm off by 12:30am. I also remembered I have to be up early tomorrow because, ahem, I have to be at the SGI center by 10pm for the Filipino meeting, hehe. So I took Paul up on his offer and went home. It was a quick ride back to Astoria and I didn't have to wait too long for the bus. Since I saved $8 by not taking a cab this time, I decided to spend it on two slices of pepperoni pizza for dinner. I walked the rest of the 12 blocks home, plodding through the cold sludge. My toes felt swollen and cold and I could no longer feel my feet. My legs and knees were frozen and my ears stung from the wind. I relished in the suffering and even preffered digging my boots into the snowy part of the sidewalk rather than walk on the shovelled pavement. It was horrible and I loved it...because I AM LIVING LIFE.

They're no good in the cold but they keep my feet dry.
Good enough for now.

I checked to see if Steve the snowman was still alive but was sad to see that he was gone. I got home and tried catching Omar's attention by throwing snow balls at the living room window. I spent the rest of the night grooming my little boy's toe and fingernails and watching cartoons.

*Updated*

Ben called me just as I was heading out the door to take the rest of the day off. Snow was falling down hard and he says he doubts anyone else would be coming in to eat today. So I went back to my room and peeled off the layers of clothing I had put on for warmth. A few hours later, I was hungry and too lazy to make anything. I knew I had to go out anyway to buy waterproof rubber boots since weather report says snow will continue over the next few days. The rest in the video below.

Later at night, Omar and I went out to the back and had a snowball fight. I tried making a snowman, pero dahil nanggaling ako sa Pinas at walang experience gumawa ng snowman, hindi ganun kaganda ang nagawa ng lola mo. I still think I did a fairly decent job for a first timer. Tita Chon says we made a midget snowman. I couldn't make it any bigger than knee height (my knee!). Omar named him Steven. I hope I still see him standing by tomorrow.

I didn't get snowboots since those cost a bit more money than I was willing to spend at the moment. Instead, I got rubber rain boots that at least kept my toes dry. It didn't do much in terms of warmth after running in the snow for a while. I may have to wear double socks for that. We took photos using Tita Chon's point and shoot but the memory card doesn't fit in my reader and I can't find the camera cable so I can't download and show you. Too bad. I wanted to show you guys my snowman.

I woke up and without looking out the window, I opened my mac and proceeded to check craigslist again. I layed on my bed for the next 30 minutes until I decided to get myself cereal for breakfast. When I walked back to my room, I glance outside my window and see snow! I fully open the curtains and see that it's merely a small drizzle. I ignore it. I have coffee and cereal and sit down and watch the last 30 minutes of POTC: At World's End while painting my nails. Tita Chon calls and tells me to borrow some of her coats in the closet for work. I was half-thinking I didn't really need it until I glanced outside again. Wala na akong makitang daan.

The difference in the video below was taken 30 minutes apart. The snow has no signs of stopping and only looks like it's getting stronger. Fan-bloody-tastic.

Work was weird. I don't even want to get into it right now. UGH. Even I was annoyed at myself. This week has been horribly slow. Ben blames the holiday season with people spending their money on gifts than eating out. Can my NY friends come and eat at the restaurant so I have something to do? We have a NY Eve dinner thing $30 3-course dinner, $50 open bar from 10pm-1am. I will be working that night (quite possibly until the wee hours) so friendly faces are more than welcome to make the night more fun.

Nauubusan na ko ng pasensya maghanap ng apartment. Tinatamad na ako. Sumasakit ang ulo ko. I'm coming in to work later tomorrow because I'm supposed to check out an apartment that Mica saw today. I called to make an appointment for tomorrow and the girl said she will call back but didn't. Pfft. I am sick of looking at Craiglist.

A customer asked me out for lunch today. Did he mistake my friendly nature and the standard complimentary dessert as a come-on? If he was cute I would've said yes though. I just laughed and gave him the "married" excuse. How do you turn someone down nicely anyway?

Cabbed home from the subway again. This might be a regular thing now as I've lost all patience and energy to wait in the cold for the bus. I hate that I've started smoking again.

UGH.

Whatever witty, funny stories I had today, whatever I wanted share, will have to be postponed for another post. While at work, I snuck a peak at my phone and read one of the most heartbreaking text messages I have ever received. It was from Tita Chon and it started with, "Bad news, Kristoff has passed away..." The rest of it is unimportant. Kristoff, my cousin from Germany died from a ruptured aorta during a skiing accident. I'm not sure how old he was, but he couldn't be any older than 25. He was young, very handsome and had a full life ahead of him. I don't know what else to say. It all feels like a really bad joke. Nana, Tito Ans and my cousin Cherish are flying to Germany tomorrow. I wish I could go, although I wouldn't know what to say or do. What would I tell my aunt? Everyone here is in shock, I can only imagine what my family in Manila is feeling. My sisters and I will always have fond memories of Kristoff and his sister Sylvie when their family used to come visit us in the Philippines for Christmas. I'm sad I was unable to know him more as he grew up. I can't believe he's gone.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Hindi naman kami close pero pinsan ko pa din sya. Hindi ko malaman kung malulungkot ba ako or tatawag ba ako sa tita ko or ano. This is the first time I've ever dealt with the death of a close relative that was not due to old age. It's too surreal. It's a sad thing to see that there are people you remember only in death. I feel ashamed of it. Naiiyak ako pero hindi ko alam kung bakit. A great big wave of regret has washed over me. I wish I had better things to say. I feel obligated to say something to his family but I don't know if I could say anything more than "I'm sorry..."

To you,
Thank you for seeing me. I never even thought to ask but you came anyway. I didn't think I needed the company but I do believe it helped. Thank you for being an awesome friend.

Awwww! Thanks guys! I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH AND I REALLLY WISH I COULD VISIT :( My situation has become slightly complicated and I may not be able to do so within the near future. Will explain in an email soon, I promise.

It snowed all day today!!!

At first I we thought it was just going to be a small flurry like the last time but then it started falling down hard in big chunks! I wish I had my flip with me so I can show you but all I had was my camera phone so here are photos I took from the restaurant window.

This was when it started...the road is still dry.

Then it fell down hard the rest of the afternoon. By night, the cars on the streets were frosted.Walking in the city was okay. It seems like there was someone who made sure the sidewalks and streets were safe for walking. When I got the Queens though, it was a different story. The subway stations were covered in two inches of ice. I had to "ski" to the bus stop with my chuck taylors to avoid slipping. My sneakers are wet and dirty. Looks like I have more reason to buy snow boots now.

Crappy photo from outside the apartment building. You can't even see that the grass and sidewalks are white with snow.

Oh, and this is Kenny by the way...

The day was S.L.O.W. and I feared going home with a very little tips from the day so I strapped on the charm and chatted up what little customers came by. I managed to convince non-vegetarians to try our vegetarian sushi (all meats made from soy!). I told Kenny to make them really awesome and he added a side of soy crab salad (not usually included in the dish) to woo them. Lilly let me give them a small discount for being brave enough to try us out. It was a success! They even ordered a bottle of one of our fancy sake. I'm getting my upselling skills back, only this time I'm armed with bottles of wine and sushi. Hehehe! Paul was off today and Brian was almost MIA the whole time due to some roommate problem he had so I ran the show all on my own! I'm so proud of myself! Both my manager and the chef were off today so I was more at ease without them glowering over me.