I haven't had a haircut in a year. I was a bit apprehensive about getting a cut here for the first time since Vicky from South Salon has been cutting my hair since 2001. After seeing Rann and Oli's new 'do, I decided to get an appointment at Hair Kuwayama on the East Village. It's run and operated by a bunch of cute japanese girls. Usually the first thing I look at when I enter a salon to get a cut is look at the stylists' hair. If they all have good hair then I can trust them. I got my cut from Aya who seemed more nervous about cutting my hair than I was. She kept asking me if she was doing okay and would snip off little bits at a time and watching how I would react. I left her alone to do her thing while I sat and read a magazine. Later on she asked me if my bangs were too short, I then asked her back what she thought. She stared and scrunched her face up in concentration and kept looking at my hair in all angles before she finally said, "it's okay." I then told her, "Then its okay then. Hey, you know more about hair then I do so if you think it's okay, then it's okay, I trust you." She laughed so hard after that and kept saying "Thank you, thank you" in her cute japanese accent. I didn't really ask for a drastic cut. I just wanted lots of layers to thin out my unruly hair and I got exactly what I wanted. At least now I know she can handle my hair and will definitely come back if I want something more bold.

This is me in the subway making a pa-cute face on my way to Hair Kuwayama. I don't know why my bright orange jacket (Eisa's hand me down) looks red here.

This is me at the New York Culture Center (SGI center) with Rann before the study meeting. The left photo was meant to be a silly face but with Rann's angle made it look sultry.

Since I was off today, Rann invited me to the study meeting for the Empire State district since he was handling the study presentation. I grabbed lunch in one of those falafel corner stands (chicken and lamb over yellow rice with white ad hot sauce YUM) and finished my very late lunch at Rann's restaurant while waiting for him to finish his shift. We headed to the center and chatted until it was time for evening gongyo before the meeting. We had dinner at a nearby pizza place and I headed home in the rain.

I got home to a quiet apartment and proceeded to clean my make-up brushes which I haven't done in a while. I'd rather not say how long, you'd think I'm disgusting. Benny was home but we both realized that the usual noise that we've grown accustomed to was mostly caused by Mica and we both miss her.

Okay, I'm going to finish watching Fa yeung nin wa (In the mood for love) which I started re-watching the other night. It's such a beautiful movie you all need to see it! Since I'm trying to learn the language, I've been trying to watch a bunch of asian movies lately (also saw Kung Fu Hustle and Mou gaan dou - Infernal Affairs FYI: Andy Lau is HOT in that movie, not so much in House of Flying Daggers though) Ok, off to my movie.

Before I begin, this one made me laugh so much. I love how Jammi writes and always enjoy reading what she says about me.

Been too preoccupied to post. A few things have happened and I will quickly enumerate to update y'all.

I am a soon to be official Brooklynite! YES! We found an apartment and got approved! I just paid first month's rent + security this morning and will be hauling my clothes and stuff on Sunday. We officially move on February 1!

I did go to Beacon's Closet that day I blogged from my iPod touch. I bought two jackets and tall brown leather boots all for less than the one pair of boots I was eyeing from Steve madden. SCORE!

I had a mandatory hour and a half break today from work and I spent it chanting for an hour at the center. I've never wanted to pray the rosary with my mom before and never understood how she could do it every night. The feeling of actually wanting to go and chant was new to me but I really wanted to do it. Also, chanting along with other people gives me more pleasure than doing it alone at home, despite my very handsome butsudan. Hehe.

I've been on IKEA.com and excel laying out the floor plan of my room and fixing a budget for the furniture I'm planning on getting. Having VERY limited space has forced me to get creative and also saves me a lot of money as opposed to having to furnish a larger space. I've layed out and measured the furniure I plan on getting (went to IKEA last Sunday with tita Chon and family) and made a virtual room in excel to really see how much space I will have left to move around i once I put all my junk in. I've had to sacrifice items like design preference and color just so I will have enough inches of space left to walk around in and also try to keep my spending to a minimum since I just blew quite a bit of money for rent + security.

The hot man came for lunch today and I was relieved I was hosting so I had the opportunity to not dress up like a server and wear something else aside from black. I sat him and his friend at a table close to where I'd be and made sure he sat facing my direction. Hahahaha! Hindi naman ako umaasa, gusto ko lang syang tingnan talaga. Hot men like that will never date waitresses anyway.

I attended my first district meeting for SGI last Sunday. I was an hour late since I came all the way from Ikea in Long Island. I was upset that I missed evening gongyo since I really, really wanted to do it with people but I was given a small opportunity to share my experience since joining the practice. I was very surprised at how comfortable I was talking to a group of about 30 (??) people. I'm never at ease at on the spot speeches like that and I must have been blabbering like an idiot but the vibe was just so warm and friendly it was hard not to enjoy talking to these strangers. It was also then that Andy announced that the real estate manager called him an hour before the meeting to tell him that our application for the apartment got approved. Mica, Benny (who was a guest that night) and I were screaming like crazy and high-fiving each other while the others laughed at our ridiculous reaction. We got drinks to celebrate after before I headed back to Queens.

I was an hour early for work today since I had to deposit the rent money in the bank this morning. I finally had the opportunity to taste the infamous NY bagel. I had a toasted onion bagel with lowfat sundried tomato cream cheese and it was so good I wanted to cry. I can't believe I waited this long to have one. I may just have one everyday before work now.

The cold is getting harsher. Stand 10 minutes outside without a decent pair of gloves and your fingers will swell and feel like they will burst or crack. I love the headphones I bought from Skull Candy. Because of its furry lining, they double as ear muffs as well and keep my ears toasty.

We're planning a housewarming party for the new apartment and they're inviting a sh!tload of people, most of which I will probably not know. I wish you all could come!

Okay, I'm heading back to furniture research now and this post has gone beyond the "Quick One" that the title so implied.

Attended the WD/YWD Kick Off meeting yesterday at the culture center. It's my first meeting since joining SGI and everything that was shared yesterday had a whole new meaning for me. There are some things Linda Johnson said yesterday that I've also heard a few times from some SGI members that I'd like to share.

Buddhism reminds us that we're already perfect. Everything we need to be happy and be fulfilled in our lives is already in us. It's simply a matter of bringing out your inner buddha.

Happiness is found in the journey and in your struggle to reach your goal.

more photos

Had lunch with Miyuki, Tita, M, Leah, Jennifer and Eileen at Saigon Grill after the meeting. I wish I wasn't running late for work so I could have enjoyed the awesome food better. I scarfed down my meal and 15 minutes before my shift, grabbed a cab at Union Square and told him to step on it. I got to work in 10 minutes only to have Lily tell me to not rush next time and simply call her if I'm running late instead of spending for a cab. Pfft. Oh well.

Weather report said there was supposed to be a snow storm yesterday. It did snow a good part of the day but it ended just before night fall to be replaced by a light drizzle. This caused the thin layer of ice that accumulated on the streets to become wet and slippery. I had to take extra care skiing on the sidewalks going home. I witness no less than 5 people embarrassingly fall on their asses. We also had a little incident at the restaurant last night. A homeless man came in demanding that we call 911. He wanted to be taken to a hospital because it was too cold to sleep outside. He smelled like a really bad public bathroom and stank the place up. Lily and the owner gave him food and nicely asked him to leave but he refused. Richard had to get the cops to come pick him up before he finally left. That entire ordeal was sad but it was a place of business and it had to be done.

I'm supposed to watch Mica dance today at 2:30pm but I think I will stay in for once and spend time with my Omee boy. I've been feeling horrible every time he looks at me with his puppy eyes and says "You're going out again?" I haven't spent an off day at home for weeks. I need to do laundry anyway. Although I might make a quick trip to Brooklyn to get my pasalubong from Ana's house. Poy said my mom sent stuff for me from Manila and I want to see if she got me more than I asked her to get. I miss cheap manila items.

I was wondering since yesterday if people can feign wisdom. I've met a few "young" people who speak and think with much insight on their life and the world that I can't help but be in awe of them. I wonder how they could be so learned at such an age when the rest of their kin are busying themselves with useless activities. I look back when I was younger and despite people saying then how "mature" I was for my age, I can't help but feel that I still lacked so much. I wish I had their same knowledge and outlook on life. Then maybe I would have handled some things better in the past.

Then there are the opposite kind. Adults who act like children. We've all encountered them. I've had a chance of hearing about one just today and personally, I am in no mood to nurse anyone's sorry feelings right now. We are adults and should therefore take responsibility for our own lives rather than pass on our frustrations to others. I'd rather not expound on this. It will be a waste of words and thought.

I've just been in such a "GO! FIGHT! GO!" mood lately that I refuse to be affected by people who refuse to move. I feel like such a hypocrite for saying this seeing that I was one myself (and for a very long time too) just a little over a month ago but I can't be swayed from my determination to push forward. It took Louiie for me to realize that it takes a huge (and HARSH) wake up call to get people out of that rut. It's just that in this case, I am not in the position to hand out that slap in the face.

A few people have been asking me about my recent decision about being a Buddhist. I will be understating it when I say it's been really, really great. That, and being surrounded by a great group of people who continue to push each other forward has been helping me a lot. I feel like a force stream is flowing through me, washing away all the negativity and doubt that keep forming in my head. Of course I still worry about a lot of things: money, job, status, family, history. But despite all that, I feel an air of calmness about me telling me to relax and that everything will work out. I've been shakabuku-ing people who ask me about the practice and I read in the lectures (on the 'Expedient Means' and 'Life Span' chapters of the Lotus Sutra) about kosen-rufu and how Shakyamuni shared his knowledge after awakening from his long meditation without being asked or told to do so. Buddhism was born out of the need to cure people's unhappiness. A lot of the buddhism that's generally known today has diverted from that main purpose. SGI has taken that and applied it to the times so that people in the modern world who claim to seek buddhahood no longer have to shave their heads, go to the mountains and isolate themselves for it. There's just something about the practice and its effects on you state of mind that make you want to share it to people. Again, I am very sure I am boring a lot of you out right now but my point is this, I've just been so rejuvinated by the practice that it makes me want to share it to everyone. I just wished everyone had even just a sliver of the peaceful serenity that's been given to me through all this. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na kalmado ka sa buhay. The strength to embrace the suckiness of life and flip it over to make you better is something that most people are afraid to do. They see a problem and they cower, run or admit defeat. I have turned my own defeat into a positive (and absolutely fabulous) turn on life. At this point, I can consider myself one of the luckiest people alive even after the worst part of 2008. I am here and I am living, surviving and chasing the dreams that I have long shelved.

Nam myoho renge kyo!

Me with Miyuki and her husband, Rahul

So last night was another fun night at Miyuki's. I was so sleepy on my way to her place that I napped a bit in the train. Rann, Mica and I got there pretty early. We snacked on cheese and crackers while we waited for the rest to arrive. Miyuki invited a lot more people last night compared to the Christmas dinner so it was a house full of drunken buddhists! Eisa was unable to attend due to work schedule so Mica was my buddy for the night. I drank a lot more than last time and I actually sang! Hahaha! Yes! Me, Kari, the lady who hates videoke, sang and DANCED. I've been doing a lot of un-kari like stuff lately actually. I think it's mostly because of the new environment and hanging out with an entirely different group of people. It has given me the freedom to be whoever I want to be without anyone commenting how different I've become or how unlike me I've been behaving. It's been so liberating actually. New York has given me such a fresh new start, that I not only have a new life, but I've been welcoming a new side of myself as well.


I was late for work today, the first since I started working. I was afraid I was going to get a lot of flack from Ben when I reached the restaurant that I chanted to myself while rushing to work. I needed the strength to take whatever it was that was coming to me. Then I got to work and find out that Ben wasn't there and that he wasn't going to be there for a while, leaving Lily, whom I love, in charge! I received even better news when Lily told me she'd like to train me to become a host. So, I'll be hosting once a week until she can see that I can handle things on my own. If successful, I won't be serving as much anymore. Yey! One month in and I get noticed agad! We had a pretty good night. Despite not having that many customers, the ones we had racked up their bills so it was like having a full house. Lily and the owner are now focusing their efforts on providing good service since the restaurant's been getting rave reviews online for our excellent service.

I'm off again tomorrow and I plan on having lunch with nana and the rest of the family before she heads to Manila for two months. I was planning on buying little trinkets to send to my family back home but it seems I won't have the time to shop anymore. I'm meeting Mica and Eisa after lunch to check out a few apartments in Brooklyn that we liked then maybe watch a movie. Baka demonyohin ko yung dalawa uminom pagkatapos. Tingnan natin... I need to brainstorm with Eisa about our shoot and Mica has expressed her interest in helping out as well. I've been feeling better about having these small group of people that I can hang out with now. It's been such a lonely couple of months here in New York with no one to laugh with that it's been refreshing having such a fun group of people around me.

Seems like 2009 is revving up to be a fun year!

Ok, before anything else, let me just say to the only lady who can literally fit in my shoes,

In case you didn't see my YM message, I'm giving you a thousand virtual hugs from New York! I miss you so much you have no idea! You are probably one of the first people I think of when I remember my one year blip back in Manila. Meeting you was worth it. Wheeee!!!

So anyway, today I was in a slight panic. Olivea and Rann were coming over to see my room and check where I planned to keep my Butsudan. My room was a bloody mess and I needed to fix it fast! I made a quick trip to the 99c store to score stuff to organize my bags, scarves, and hoped to get a cheap shoe rack to keep my unnecessary collection of footwear. I couldn't find anything worth spending money on so I had to fix everything up to make my room look worthy enough to house my scroll. I did my laundry to get rid of the unsightly pile that's been building up around the room. In between chores, I was browsing through the SGI website to see what questions I might have when they came. When Oli came in and asked to see my room, I was nervous when I showed her where I planned to keep my altar (by the window facing the back of the building), I was half-expecting her to say "Oh, NO! Not there! That's not at all the right place to keep it! That's not going to work!" Good thing they said it was alright. I didn't have any other place to keep it anyway. I already have very limited space in Omar's dining room-turned bedroom space. I also spoke to Tita Chon about my decision to start practicing and that they may hear me chanting in the mornings and evenings. She laughed and said it was a good thing I told her, otherwise she might have called 911 to say I've gone crazy.

Rann and Oli were patient in answering questions they must have heard a thousand times. There are still so many things I want to know and need to know. They've provided me with enough reading material to last me for a good long while. I've bought quite a few books these past several weeks, all of which I have not even started reading and will have to be set aside again.

The end of the year is coming. So much has happened and so much has changed. I feel like I'm on an express train to a speedy new beginning. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!

Btw, this is super delayed but I want to give a big shout out to Jun and Lissa for getting hitched last December 20. After 10 years of being together, they have made it official!

Lissa and Jun with the rest of my high school friends
who were in Manila for the wedding.
Annette, Rita, Rona and Tonet

This morning as I was getting dressed for work, I kept thinking about SGI. I don't know why but something in me could not wait for the next opportunity to visit the center. I've been thinking about it a lot and then it dawned on me, "What am I waiting for?" I already know I want it. I suppose the segurista in me just needed to be sure. So I made the decision this morning, on thursday, the first day of 2009, I will receive my Gohonzon. I called Rann and he will arrange whatever needs to be done in preparation for this momentus event. I'm both so excited and nervous I can't even put it into words. Rann and Olivea are coming over tomorrow to discuss everything with me. I will have to talk to Tita Chon about having a buddhist in the house. Hehe. Part of the practice is chanting during the mornings and evenings and I need to be sure she's okay with it. I guess I will have to look for that apartment after all. I can only imagine what Nana's going to say when she sees my altar in the room. She might call for an exorcism or something. Dito pa naman sya natutulog sa kwarto ko when they come visit. She's so going to hate me for this.

So yes! 2009 will be a whole new beginning for me! I feel so optimistic that this will be an awesome start! Let's goooooo!!!!!

This will be a mixed rundown of yesterday and today.

I joined Rann and Eisa for the SGI Filipino meeting yesterday at the center. The meeting was okay and they were considerate enough to explain a little about Soka Gakkai for the benefit of the guests that arrived that day. There aren't a lot of filipinos who practice here in NY but they still manage to make time each month to meet, share and update each other. They seem like a fun group of people. Rann and I joined a few of them for lunch after then headed back to the center to attend a graduation ceremony for SGI's young women's division. The large auditorium was filled with women of all shapes and races. What I noticed right away was how everyone had a permanent smile plastered on their face. Everyone looked happy and they all spoke to each other like family. Watching them interact made me a little jealous. Everyone seemed so close and tight knit and I longed to be part of something similar, specially being in a place where I have no close friends. I looked at the faces around me and they all looked genuinely happy and at peace. I want that. More than money, career or independence. For 2009, I want peace of mind. I may struggle with my job, or bills but I want, even for a while, to have a period wherein I can relax and live my life in the now. I would like to stop worrying so much or thinking so much. I want to feel serenity within myself and have the ability to excude a gleaming sense of pride in whatever situation I find myself in. I spoke with Louiie today and she was quick to point out how different my vibe was. I no longer whined, complained or sulked on the phone. She said, that whatever this SGI thing was or whatever else that's been rubbing off on me, was doing me a lot of good and I should go on and get more of it. There's no other way to say it, I feel so ALIVE, like I've been sleeping for so long and I've just recently opened my eyes to my potential.

Cherish, my cousin who has been living in Istanbul for the past two years, has moved back to New York to live with her sister Ana for the next 6 months while she works to save up enough money to take her masters in Film in Manchester. I haven't seen her in a very long time so I went to Ana's place in Brooklyn where Chen and I decided to bake a red velvet cake for Christmas. I slept over at Ana's last night and Chen and I spent hours updating each other about our lives and our plans for the future. She said a lot of stuff last night that made me think about my own life and how up until recently, I've had the mentality of going along with the flow, waiting for fun things to happen to me instead me going out there to make things happen for me. There are a lot of things that still need to be defined in my own life but it helps to have that realization of being proactive rather than reactive. A lot of the things she said follow the sames lines of the stuff I've heard so far about Nichiren Buddhism so it feels more like everything around me is falling into place. I told her about SGI and she got so excited and wants to join the next meeting.

I woke up this morning and Chen, Ana and I had breakfast and chatted some more, mostly about our own family dynamic and how we relate that into our own lives. It's been a very philosophical and eye-opening two days. I left Brooklyn and didn't really feel like going back home and sitting in bed all day. I also wasn't in any condition to brave the bitter cold and walk around so I hung out at Rann's resto while I sat and people watched by the window. I may still be a bit confused but I can safely say that I am eons away from the mess that was me a month ago.

I got home, showered and Tita Chon and family, Ana, Chen, Poy and I went out for dinner. We went to this thai restaurant here in Queens that Cherish swears is the best thai restaurant in New York. I'm not going to drag this on but I will say that it is, indeed, the best thai restaurant I have been to, EVER. They have a WIDE array of appetizers, entrees, soups, salads and desserts all categorized in their menu. Each dish is labeled and photographed to make your mouth water. I am NOT kidding, it is the ABSOLUTE BEST. The name of the place is Sripraphai (it's hard to say it) and it's located in Woodside near the Filipino restaurants on Roosevelt Ave. If you google it, you will see that it has received very good reviews and is a high-rated resto. Kung andito kayo, kelangan niyong pumunta dito, walang biro. Sorry, wala ng sinabi ang Jatujak.

Since Ana and Poy are spending Christmas and New Year in Manila, we went back to the apartment and enjoyed the cake me and Chen made for dessert. We took some groups photos since we won't be seeing Ana and Poy until they get back from Manila in Jan.


I'm planning on buying A New Earth since Ana and Chen swears it's an awesome book. Books of this sort have NEVER been my kind of thing but I've been so open to a lot of things lately that it shouldn't hurt to check it out.

The rest of the photos from tonight can be seen here.

Because of subway service changes, I had to take 4 trains to Astoria today. And since the trains took longer than usual, I missed my 12:40am bus and walked 27 blocks home. Thank god Rann dropped off the magic insoles he scored for me today. Otherwise, I don't know how I could have ever managed! Yes!

The entire walk home, I was not sad or pissed at having to take another two hour trip home. The funny thing was that I felt so happy. I was so happy to be alive! It sounds cuckoo but its true! I'm exhausted as f*ck but that was the beauty of it. I'm alive and struggling and living life! Despite the exhaustion and all the other sh1t I'm going through, I know, deep in my gut that it will all pay off. I just know it. Things wouldn't be so damn hard if something mind-blowingly fabulous wasn't up ahead. No one can ever say that I lived such a grand life. It's hard. So VERY hard.

I was in such a weird high on my walk home that I kind of wanted to, dare I say it, CHANT! Hahahaha! (somewhere in Brooklyn, a buddhist is laughing) I dunno, I was talking to Ging about it the other day. When Rann took me to SGI last Sunday, I felt odd. But odd in a good way. I've always been partial to Buddhism, out of all the other religions I've read about. But I've never wanted to practice anything for real. I've considered myself somewhat of an agnostic for years now, much to the dismay of my very catholic mother. As quoted from their website "This Buddhist practice leads to empowerment and inner transformation or 'human revolution' which enables individuals to take responsibility for their lives and contribute to building a world where people of diverse cultures and faiths can live in peace." If you think about it, it's not really a religion as how Filipinos view it. I've come to see it as a lifestyle, or a way to help you grab your own life by the nuts and steer it towards the direction you want it to go. As I was watching everyone around me chant around me last Sunday, I almost felt a twinge of jealousy. Here was a group of people who gather together and help each other be the best version of themselves and live their life according to how they want it, without having to offer their lives up to some other higher power. It was so empowering and ridiculously scary.

Rann, I know why you took me there last Sunday, and I have to admit I left the center a bit skeptical. I left there thinking that if I were ever to join you guys, it will take a lot of reflection on my part whether or not I really, really want to do this, just as my decision to remain in New York had to come from me and not through the influence of other people. Hinay hinay muna ako. You keep making me ride the express trains in life. I'd like to make sure I'm going the way I want to go first before I hop on. I just though it would please you to know that I am considering it.

Well enough of all that nonsense, I must have bored most of you readers by now. Check out the two videos below. The first one was a link sent to me by Christian, who managed to find a bit of time in his very cramped up work schedule to watch it (HAH!) The second is the video Rann and Jordan were trying to make me watch last weekend but I was too drunk to understand any of it. I was already seeing double at the time. They're both stand up acts by Robin Williams. Enjoy!

Btw, yesterday was the first time I had to work without Paul's help! I came in to work and found out he was on his day off! I was left the whole day with the new guy Brian who, even after being there for 3 days, still couldn't do much! I panicked! Good thing I managed alright and was semi pleased I had Brian to do all the dirty work like clean up and set tables. I didn't screw up anyone's orders for lunch or dinner and received the better percentage of the tips. The entire dinner rush, I was silently wishing we wouldn't get any large groups of 5 or higher. Thank gawd we didn't. We did have a busy night but I finished just fine! Kenny had a big smile for me during my dinner break and was quick to comment that I had caught on quite fast for someone who had no restaurant experience.

I did get one annoying customer today and I got a bit of scolding from Ben for a minor little screw up but everything is fine. I'm trying to collect my tips now so I can work up enough cash to find an apartment by next month. Hoohah!