Cheer up Grub

I'm drowning myself with sweets and such. It's that time of the month again (ladies...) and OO masungit ako pero may rason akong magsungit. I would much rather not rant about work, I have lots to say but would prefer not to get into it.

I'm not very much into chocolates, unlike my husband who demands his bar of Hershey's milk chocolate. But yesterday I woke up with a strange craving for it. I scourged the ref for a chocolate bar but found none so I passed by Watson's before work and scored myself a pack of Hershey's Kisses with almonds, Chupa Chups and a Milo Bar. Yummmm. I really wanted a Cadbury Hazelnut bar but they only had a big bar of it that cost P65!

I just scarfed down two cups of berry yogurt. There's a bag of Oreo cookies in the kitchen but I resisted the urge to grab them with a glass of milk and opted for the fat free yogurt instead. A lot of messed up things are happening to me right now. I don't wanna get into it and enumerate my overly unwanted dramatic life because I personally am sick of it myself. Sometimes I just want to drop into a big hole in the earth and be rid of it altogether.

My mom will undergo surgery in two days. She has kidney stones. I don't know what kind of procedure it'll be that's why I've decided to go to UST (where the procedure will take place) before she goes under the knife and talk to the doctor. Better I hear the details from him than my mom. My mom wouldn't be able to explain it as accurately as I would like knowing her knack for over-explaining and exaggerating things. I would say "please pray for her" if I believed in the power of prayer but since I don't all I can do is sit and hope and have faith in the powers that be. In as much as I would like it to seem that I am calm about this whole thing, my mind is in mad panic. I'm trying to not to think about it so much and it would be so easy to let the week pass by and pretend nothing like this is happening. Oh I wish Paul were here. That way, I wouldn't feel so lonely all the time. I've always been the type to be on top of things and always level-headed but it gets so exhausting at times. I'm always responsible for some things, people and such. I hate how my mom comes to me for her "If something were to happen to me, I would like you to..." speech. It sucks but I also know I'm the only person she can depend on. I wish I didn't have to carry such a big burden such as this.

I do hope she'll be okay. I don't know what I'd do otherwise.