Kris (Atendido) visited me at the restaurant today and was an unsurprising hit among my chinese work colleagues. Paul asked a lot of questions about her and gave her free edamame. Hahaha! She's heading back to Manila tomorrow morning.

It was a very very rainy day today. Business was poor during dinner even if we had a pretty good lunch rush. Benjamin, the bartender, came in today (and will be coming in every thur-sat of the week). Since business was slow, I had time to to hang by the bar and chit-chat (chitchat daw oh! malandi! malandi!) He invited me to go see his friend's gig tomorrow after work but in as much as I would so love to go (baket naman hindi? eh ang gwapo niya eh!), the commute home during the wee hours has been so terrible and I don't want to put myself in a situation wherein I'd be stuck in a cold bus stop at 4am. I still have to work 13 hours the day after so I don't think I'm going to go. Anyway, if he really does want to go out, he will take the raincheck. I normally have a difficult time chatting with these americans since it's hard for me to converse without a smidgen of tagalog. I was surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. Kris met him and she says go lang ng go! Hahaha! Bahala na bukas. I really have to move now so I can go out more often! Argh!

Because of subway service changes, I had to take 4 trains to Astoria today. And since the trains took longer than usual, I missed my 12:40am bus and walked 27 blocks home. Thank god Rann dropped off the magic insoles he scored for me today. Otherwise, I don't know how I could have ever managed! Yes!

The entire walk home, I was not sad or pissed at having to take another two hour trip home. The funny thing was that I felt so happy. I was so happy to be alive! It sounds cuckoo but its true! I'm exhausted as f*ck but that was the beauty of it. I'm alive and struggling and living life! Despite the exhaustion and all the other sh1t I'm going through, I know, deep in my gut that it will all pay off. I just know it. Things wouldn't be so damn hard if something mind-blowingly fabulous wasn't up ahead. No one can ever say that I lived such a grand life. It's hard. So VERY hard.

I was in such a weird high on my walk home that I kind of wanted to, dare I say it, CHANT! Hahahaha! (somewhere in Brooklyn, a buddhist is laughing) I dunno, I was talking to Ging about it the other day. When Rann took me to SGI last Sunday, I felt odd. But odd in a good way. I've always been partial to Buddhism, out of all the other religions I've read about. But I've never wanted to practice anything for real. I've considered myself somewhat of an agnostic for years now, much to the dismay of my very catholic mother. As quoted from their website "This Buddhist practice leads to empowerment and inner transformation or 'human revolution' which enables individuals to take responsibility for their lives and contribute to building a world where people of diverse cultures and faiths can live in peace." If you think about it, it's not really a religion as how Filipinos view it. I've come to see it as a lifestyle, or a way to help you grab your own life by the nuts and steer it towards the direction you want it to go. As I was watching everyone around me chant around me last Sunday, I almost felt a twinge of jealousy. Here was a group of people who gather together and help each other be the best version of themselves and live their life according to how they want it, without having to offer their lives up to some other higher power. It was so empowering and ridiculously scary.

Rann, I know why you took me there last Sunday, and I have to admit I left the center a bit skeptical. I left there thinking that if I were ever to join you guys, it will take a lot of reflection on my part whether or not I really, really want to do this, just as my decision to remain in New York had to come from me and not through the influence of other people. Hinay hinay muna ako. You keep making me ride the express trains in life. I'd like to make sure I'm going the way I want to go first before I hop on. I just though it would please you to know that I am considering it.

Well enough of all that nonsense, I must have bored most of you readers by now. Check out the two videos below. The first one was a link sent to me by Christian, who managed to find a bit of time in his very cramped up work schedule to watch it (HAH!) The second is the video Rann and Jordan were trying to make me watch last weekend but I was too drunk to understand any of it. I was already seeing double at the time. They're both stand up acts by Robin Williams. Enjoy!

Btw, yesterday was the first time I had to work without Paul's help! I came in to work and found out he was on his day off! I was left the whole day with the new guy Brian who, even after being there for 3 days, still couldn't do much! I panicked! Good thing I managed alright and was semi pleased I had Brian to do all the dirty work like clean up and set tables. I didn't screw up anyone's orders for lunch or dinner and received the better percentage of the tips. The entire dinner rush, I was silently wishing we wouldn't get any large groups of 5 or higher. Thank gawd we didn't. We did have a busy night but I finished just fine! Kenny had a big smile for me during my dinner break and was quick to comment that I had caught on quite fast for someone who had no restaurant experience.

I did get one annoying customer today and I got a bit of scolding from Ben for a minor little screw up but everything is fine. I'm trying to collect my tips now so I can work up enough cash to find an apartment by next month. Hoohah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

GRACIE!!!

I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH!
I hope Leo takes you somewhere nice and you enjoy your day.
I'm sorry I can't call. Come visit me soon ok?
*hugs from NY*

1. I'm on my day off today and tomorrow!
2. Restaurant hired one more part time server so Paul and I have additional help! Chriselle, he looks and speaks like Joe!!!
3. The resto's weekend bartender is so cute at mukhang type ako. Charing! :) Hahaha! Niki, naunahan na kita! Ang bagal mo eh!
   
4. Pacquiao WON!
5. Despite having a 13-hour shift at the restaurant, I headed straight to Chelsea after work to get SHITFACED with Rann and his friend Jordan. We drank so much wine (the most I've had to drink EVER) that Jordan and I had to pull Rann out after we discovered him passed out on the bathtub. Hahaha! Last night's events are all a blur and I keep getting little flashbacks over the course of today.
   
6. It snowed for the first time last night!
   
7. Rann and I had coffee at Union square after he took me to the SGI Center. New York is cold but really beautiful in the winter. Wala lang...ang sarap ng pa-kape-kape ka lang sa park sa NY. Parang sine!
8. Is heading out again in a bit after Rann wakes up from a nap due to a horrible hangover. He's passed out on the couch even after Tita Chon handed him a tylenol and claritin (allergic pala sa aso si gago, hindi nagsasalita eh nilaro pa si Lucy and Libby eh!) Omar made him play Xbox pa. He claims this as his worst hangover in his 31 years of existence.
   

I can't keep doing this everyday. The trip home is going to kill me soon. It just took me two hours to get home today. I was so happy that Ben let me home an hour earlier today since we were unexpectedly dead for dinner (but the lunch rush was INSANE). Before work, I had already looked at google maps and researched the train and bus scheds for an alternate route because it had taken me soooo long to wait for the bus at Ditmars. I took the E train to Steinway and was supposed to take the 12:23am Q101 bus to Astoria. I stood there for a while before I realized the bus scheduled arrival had long passed. After a while, a lady came up to me and said it would be better for me to take the train instead of the bus since it came in once every hour after midnight. I told her, I was heading to Astoria and she looked at me with a funny, surprised, sympathetic look and said "Oh honey, you're standing at the wrong bus stop. You're supposed to be on the other side of the street. This bus will take you to Manhattan." I groaned. She walked with me to the other side and told me where I was supposed to go and how I was supposed to get there then ended it with, "But I'm telling you, you will wait here forever because that bus ain't coming soon. Better take a cab, it shouldn't cost you more than $9." I thanked her and said I will wait a bit longer then take the bus when nothing comes.

From the moment I got off the train until I ended up in a cab was about 45 minutes. You're probably thinking, "Geez Kari, 45 minutes aint that long of a wait" Well it's long enough when you're in 35 degree weather. I think the way I looked trying to keep warm was the reason the lady came up to me. I had no tights underneath my jeans so my legs were beyond freezing. I had nothing else to warm me up but my not-so-winter coat and a scarf that wrapped around my neck and half my face plus a bonnet that cover my head and ears. Mukha akong muslim. My gloves were no good so I stuffed my hands in my pockets. Actually, I've been through tough commutes going back from the city before, and even tonight's incident wouldn't be as bad if I didn't lack sleep and hadn't just pulled a 12-hour shift with 90% of it spent standing and running around carrying stuff from the kitchen to the tables. I wanted to cry. Actually, I almost did. Only the fear of some crazy dude seeing me cry kept me from doing so. When I finally decided to cab it, no available cab was in sight. When I finally got one and got home, I started to wonder how long I can keep doing this for. The job is alright I guess, but I can't keep commuting like that after the kind of days I've spend in the restaurant so far. I really have to move somewhere closer, or at least more accesible by train.

The insoles I bought for my sneakers today did nothing to help ease the pain. The pain in my feet and legs have escalated to the point that I can no longer grin and bear it. I may be wincing in silence but my face says it all, and Lily and Kenny have noticed. Maybe if I keep doing this for a while, the pain will pass and I will get used to it. I really, really hope so. Because I can't keep feeling this pain for long. I also do hope they don't expect me to work 12 hour shifts forever. Rann, can they do that? I mean, I know there's really just the two of us working but I can't pull long hours like that all the time!

Hopefully, I get to save enough money soon and find a decent apartment I can rent that's near. Hay...tomorrow's another day.