Weirdness greets me my first day back at work

I shall speak in semi-fragmented verses.

Head chef quit last Saturday.
I don't quite blame him.
One head chef was replaced with three complete idiots.

Today was particularly busy for a Tuesday.
Dinner service was a complete mess.
I text my manager who happens to be off today,
"Working with the new kitchen staff is like battling with the demons of hell, it's IMPOSSIBLE."

However,
I did make good money considering I only worked the dinner shift.
Finally was able to buy a couple of items from the grocery store.

I had one funny customer.
She said,
"I'm on this new diet where I'm only able to eat 8 bites which means I pretty much have to stuff my face with each bite as long as I just take 8 bites. What do you suggest I get?"

Me: "uuhhhmm...aah, ehhh, errr....I dunno. I've never heard of that diet before."

"Yeah I know it sounds weird. It's this new thing."

Me to myself: "WTF. Is she seriously saying what I heard she just said? eh?!?"

She ended up ordering a sandwich.
I watched her cut it up in half and strategically try to figure out how to stuff it down her face in 8 freaking bites.

These Americans are something else.

Ang aarte, leche.