I was never one to obsess about my weight. Most of the time, I really don't care. My personal rule of thumb is if I'm happy with myself then my weight doesn't matter. Over the past few years or so, I've gone through phases in terms of weight. I was skinny (but didn't think so), then when I moved to SFO and became unemployed and was left alone in the kitchen and I gained (a lot of) weight. Then I moved back to Manila for about 18 months where I lost a bit of it but not completely but maintained that for a while. When I returned to the US and shit hit the fan, I gained weight again being homeless, clueless, broke, unemployed once again and holed up in my aunt's apartment which never seemed to run out of apple pie. When I started making money, I started losing a lot of weight due to stress and adjustment to the kind of physical work and schedule my body was not used to. When I got the hang of my schedule and living environment, I ended up where I am now, which is (semi) contented, living quietly and enjoying myself despite being 20+ pounds overweight.

As I've mentioned earlier, I don't care much about weight loss except if I'm no longer happy when I look into a mirror. Well...I'm no longer happy when I look into the mirror. I'd like to give the excuse that washing and drying has caused my clothes to get a little too snug but I know that to be a lie.

Today, I made a decision. I made two decisions actually but I'm not quite ready to set the other one in stone. Anyway, I decided to start doing yoga today. Classes are expensive so I got myself a perfect book, OM YOGA TODAY. I've been meaning to do this for a while but I keep saying I have no time. I stumbled upon this book today and I bought it for it's practicality. It had routines that fit different time intervals depending on one's availability. I finally get to use the yoga mat Louiie gave me early last year. I got home and I tried the 15 minute routine and I ended sweaty, a little sore (I'm sure it will be worse tomorrow) but I feel good about finally starting. I may finally use the $50 Best Buy gift certificate I got for Christmas to get a power yoga dvds too.

I doubt I'll lose the 20 lbs I've gained since 2005 but at least I won't be too ashamed of myself when I squeeze myself into this when I go back to Martha's Vineyard for the summer.

I can't keep track of my days any more. I no longer know what day of the week it is or how many days we have left until Halloween. I'll be spending Ol' Hallows Eve walking Omar a.k.a Skullzor from apartment building to apartment building collecting candies. I haven't decided if I'm to dress up for halloween. I half want to and half don't because of the creeping cold weather. Ellyn was quick to point out how enthusiastic I am when it comes to dressing up. Yes, I love themed dress ups. I fondly remember last years Halloween party at Paul's in Pilar. Wow. Has it really been a year since Dex dressed up us Pong Pagong? I miss our parties at Pilar. I miss the guys in Pilar. This year's birthday won't be half as fun as last year but I'll be with family and we might eat somewhere nice. My friend from high school, BabyG has promised me that she has requested my birthday off so we could go do something. At least I have something else to look forward to.

I've been staying in since that city day with Kelly. Without someone to hang out with, I'm finding less of a reason to go out. I told Bea that I'm wasting New York city by being broke. I can't help it. In the back of my head I can hear my mom saying "Wala ka ng pera, gagastos-gastos ka pa..." I normally don't listen to that voice but this time, she's right. I now feel guilty buying a $2 hair product. If I'm to go out at all, I will need to plan and make it a full day affair to make the most of my commute.

It seems that my aunt is unknowingly trying to get me fat. She has stocked the house full of pinoy junk food (Boy Bawang!), local chips and dip, ice cream (butter pecan, droooolz) and we also seem to never run out of apple pie. I have to start jogging...and soon. I try to walk the dogs longer and further whenever it's my turn, just so I get the extra exercise but it's been getting harder to do so when the cold night air nibbles at your ears and fingers.

I've been working on my online portfolio on and off for the last couple of days. My old photos have been getting new processing treatment courtesy of the new techniques I've learned over the past couple of months. I still have a couple more albums/photos to put up but you can view them at http://pbase.com/karilopez. They're nothing most of you haven't already seen but I've managed to arrange them into categories instead of seeing them jumbled together with my personal photos in multiply. Do let me know what you think and leave comments on the ones you like/dislike.