So not even a day into my Creative Experiment (a.k.a. no more Facebook until I do something semi-magical), Ifang messages me to schedule Koyuki's photo shoot this weekend. I haven't been commissioned for a shoot since Kyle asked me to take a new set of headshots, photos of which I haven't uploaded to my photo blog or website. Add that to the list of things I didn't do because of a certain social network.

Quick refresher, Ifang was the pregnant woman I shot a year and a half ago. Koyuki is her now 20-month old daughter, whose adorable elbow dimples can be seen here when she was only 3 months old. She needs photos of Koyuki to submit to an agency. Hopefully I capture photos good enough to get her noticed. I've been searching for children's portraits online to get ideas. The weather this coming Saturday should be ideal for portraits unless mother nature decides to go schizo on NYC again.

Off to more photo researching...

So I've been flexing my photoshop skills a bit and it looks like I've lost my ability to design anything. Back when I was still spewing out layouts and concepts on my first job, I could bust out several designs and drafts easy. Today I had to make a logo for Jose's construction company and I could barely come up with three. They liked one already and I'll be making t-shirts and business cards off it but I wasn't personally satisfied with my own design. It needs a lot more work and I do need a bit more practice. I'm so behind with the current trends and I'm the first to admit that I'm no where close to achieving graphic-guru status.

the final choice

The final design needed to be very simple and with very little gradients and colors since Jose will silk-screen this on to blue shirts. Don't ask me why there's a marlin on there, he insisted on it. I was working on this other one and was planning on putting more detail on to it but they already said they liked the fish one so I stopped.

Went to the gym again earlier this afternoon because Mr. Santiagerrr made a wisecrack about my weight and it annoyed me enough to make me hit the gym again. Good thing or bad thing, whatever. Kate went to the gym with Jana later in the night leaving Joann with me. She cried long and hard for a while until I finally managed to shush her to sleep. I was sweating bullets but I dared not move and turn the fan on and despite my leg cramping, I tried hard to keep still for I was afraid she would wake up and start wailing again.

Last night, I had a nice chat on YM with a my sadistic friend Riemann and we had the weirdest conversation. To give a little background, he is a friend from high school who some would say would be a male version of me, only much meaner. So imagine the both of us talking about having children. I was telling him how I would like to have a child but most definitely not right now. Seeing Kate with Joann sometimes makes me envious and it brings about a strong desire to want a child who I can screw up in my own little way. But at the same time, seeing her spend all her time and literally changing her lifestyle to accommodate this child also reminds me that I am no where near ready to have one right now. There's so much she can't eat, can't do and places she can't go to. It reaffirms what my Aunt Sheri told me about doing all my traveling now, while I'm still young, because once a child has entered the picture, I will never leave the house and all my money and efforts will be spent for the kid.

I keep talking about children here and you're probably wondering how I'm supposed to manage having one without a, uhrm, donor. Well, I've heard way too many horror stories about childbirth and I am personally terrified of pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, it's supposed to be a beautiful experience but I think I may pass on it and do it the original Angelina way (sige, tawa ka jan). I've always played with the idea of adoption in my head. I think it's a good thing and as Riemann said, "At least you won't contribute to overpopulation." Well, enough of the baby talk. All of this won't happen for another ten years anyway. I can barely feed myself and I have a long way to go with regards to managing my direction in life.

I talked to my aunt in NY earlier and she's asking me to go to NY already. In case I haven't mentioned it on this blog already, I am simply waiting for (insert name of male offender here) to send me my stuff so I can make arrangements on how to store them while I'm away. I am very much looking forward to my Las Vegas and New York trips. My travels have helped me in a way that I am unable to regret most of the decisions I've made over the past year and a half. They have given me good memories and images that I will carry with me for life. That despite my sorry state, there are still so many things for me to be grateful for, so many places to see and people to visit.

I am so glad that in my lowest of lows, I've come to realize that there are a lot of sincere people out there who are willing to lend a hand, offer their home or just to give a hug. It just sucks that everyone else seems to understand me, all except the one person I thought would get me the most.